New Breed?

June 1st, 2004  

Topic: New Breed?


Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile.
Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.

Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things.
No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically
nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc, but kind of weak
on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell
Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee.
Their food plus ours holds you till noon, when you get fed again.
It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us.
If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different.
A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home.
Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The country is nice, but awful flat.

The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Captain is like the school board.
Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown.
They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.
I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why.
The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home.
All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it.
You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training.
You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful
though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home.
I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake.
He joined up the same time as me.
But I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
June 1st, 2004  
I moved this to the Military Jokes forum, the "Stories" forums are for true stories.

But that's a great one.
June 1st, 2004  
I like that. Good one.
June 2nd, 2004  
I like this one too, but redleg has this one on his site.

P.S. Speaking of shooting, enclosed is $200 towards a new barn roof & ma's teeth. The city boys shoot craps, but not very good. 8)
June 5th, 2004  
lil Lt
Thats great.
June 5th, 2004  

Topic: Different Breed

Admin Edit: No! Read the forum rules!
June 6th, 2004  
Dang that one laughed me to tears..
June 8th, 2004  
June 21st, 2004  
Italian Guy
Yeah nice one.
June 21st, 2004  
HahAhAHa... Good one eaglestrikes