Need Advise on Parenting a Soldier

[AB_Shorts_Momma]

I would love to hear advise from soldiers or their parents about how to support my soldier, without hindering her from growing up.

My nephew is a soldier in Iraq, and I have seen things my sister does that makes it uncomfortable for him to come home. I try to learn from others' experiences, so please share the good and bad experiences... what has been done well, and what could have been done in a better way.

Chelsea (my pride, joy, & AIR FORCE GIRL) will be home on 18 Dec! :santa:
I would like to ensure that I don't smother her. What else can I do to make sure that she has a good time at home?

What about simple tasks? When she asks me to purchase something for her (my name is on her bank account so it is her money not mine) I now ask her if she can purchase it at the BX before I agree to purchase. In the open chat room, I received information about absentee ballots for her. Do I just give her the information, and then if she's motivated she can get it? Should I go ahead and do everything for her? As a Momma, I have all of the sympathy in the world for her... but in trying to be a good parent, I just don't always know what is the correct course of action. If she were in college, I feel like I would be more comfortable DOING for her. As a soldier, I don't want to handicap her when she is in situations I cannot fathom.

Thank you in advance for all posts, advise, and experiences shared!

 

[ObjSRgtLw]

I'll try to talk about some of my own experiences...
First months (4 years ago) all I did was to talk about German Military, good thing is to show interest and to try not to get angry at some point, because it really can get annoying (I imagine that now ). For me it was good to know that my parents stood behind me and everything was solid at home. There's not much direct help that my parents could give me but I always was happy for their advice (and since my father is Colonel, that advice was always not bad ). Most lessons had to be learned by myself and there's nothing parents can do about it- you should accept that.
I found it also important that my parents stood behind every decision I made for my career, so even the decision to leave the Forces wouldn't have upset them much because they believed in my skills- wherever I chose to use them. Encouragement is always a good thing i guess.

I hope this makes sense and can help you in some ways...

 

[03USMC]

Depends on the situation. If she's deployed then it may be easier for you to help her out doing things. If she's on base, stick with advice and let her do it.

Might not wanna call her a solider, she's an Airman or Air Person or whatever the AF PC term is for their little Blue People. My Daughter prefers Airman

 

[A Can of Man]

Just don't stand in their way and you'll be doing a lot better than most. Taking care of some of the little things back home for them does wonders.

 

[AB_Shorts_Momma]

I already watch her bank account... It is amazing how close kids get to bouncing without realizing it! I go between shooing her out into the big-bad world, and wanting to protect her.

She has a younger sister, but she lives with her father this year... the nest is empty (my husband is cheering LOL). I am making a effort to ensure I don't "protect" her, and wind up harming her in the long run!

Is it always that way with 18 to 19 year-olds?

 

[A Can of Man]

They actually have the opportunity to spend that much money??

 

[AB_Shorts_Momma]

They even have Chase credit cards for the BX! Thank God it came here instead of straight to her! I swear, the first few months she thought that she was rich! LMAO! She was buying stuff (gifts, etc) for her sister and I, and went WAY overboard. But it was a lovely thought. Now I leave her voice mails telling her that she is not to spend anymore money! LOL