My new job lasted less than a day....

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So, after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, I lasted less than a day......

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive,
mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling
obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been
instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to
Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they
ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell
would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe
you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at
Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work!
 
I've actually wanted to say something similar to a few people who shop at my store. Hehehe
 
I had a somewhat obnoxious customer wanting to part exchange his firearm for another.

Him:-I want to swop my gun for something else.

Me:-Of course. What gun do you have?

Him:-Its a 9mm

Me:-What make is it?

Him (getting loud):- I DONT KNOW, YOUR THE EXPERT.

Me:-I might be clever mate, I ain't that bloody clever. Its like saying you have a car, what bloody car, Ford, Merc, BMW, Nissan. I'm not a mind reader.

Him:-Your rude.

Me:-F:cens: rude, you haven't seen rude, get the F:cens: out of my shop and don't come back.

Funnily enough, he never did come back.
 
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