Well,.. I don't normally tell jokes on the internet, but seeing that this one is also true, on this one occasion I will break my rule.
A crusty old Admiral died and found himself standing before Saint Peter at the pearly gates. Peter welcomed him warmly, " Come right in, Admiral. You've served your country well and you may enter Heaven!"
The Admiral looked through the gates and stepped up to Saint Peter, " Just one thing, sonny. Hope there are no bloody Chief Stokers here. They are the rudest, most obnoxious variety of human being ever, and if there are any of them here, I'm not going in; I'd rather go to the other place."
"Don't worry, Admiral," said Saint Peter. "No Chief Stoker has ever made it into Heaven. You'll find none of 'em here."
With that the Admiral enters into Heaven. Moments later, he comes upon an amazing sight. It is a swaggering figure in full No 1 uniform, chest full of medals, cap cocked slightly on his head, an almost empty bottle of Bundy OP Rum in one hand, and a beautiful woman on either arm. Incensed, the Admiral rushed back to Saint Peter and bails him up " Hey! You said there were no Chief Stokers here! So what the hell is THAT????"
"Don't worry, Admiral," says Saint Peter gently, "That is GOD,...
He just likes to think he's a Chief Stoker."