Military poem

Damien

Active member
I'm not sure if this is where to post this, and sorry if it isn't...

It's a poem I wrote today out of boredom...

Why am I here?

As I lay here tonight,
I wait for the light.
I think of our fate,
Surrounded by hate.
Why am I here?
Tomorrow I ship home,
Tonight I feel so alone.
My warm heart starts to race,
I miss the look of your beautiful face.
Why am I here?
The base alarm starts blaring,
My bunk-mate runs out swearing.
I reach out for my only gun,
These fights really are no fun.
Why am I here?
The tracers seem to hover,
As I leap for a piece of cover.
Soon a lot less gunfire sounds,
Many good men dead on the ground.
Why am I here?
I hear grown men crying
from the pains of dying.
Must get home alive
to our little son of five.
Why am I here?
I feel a sharp pain in my chest.
A severed artery at the best.
As I'm drained of life,
I think my dying thought,
how much freedom for my wife,
Has this sacrifice bought?
That's why I'm here.
 
thankyamuch

the rhyming scheme confuses me a little even, I'm gonna try to revise it and I'll repost it...

I might enter the poem into my school's poetry slam later this year.
 
Rhyming doesn't matter when it comes to poetry. I've found that it's a lot easier to write poems when you don't have to worry about rhyming. You should post it at www.poetry.com. A few of mine are there. If you're lucky you may just get a few published. My latest poem is going to be published sometime soon in Labors of Love, I believe is its title.
 
I showed this poem to my Language Arts/Creative Writing teacher and she hugged me and said it's beautiful, that it reminds her of her step-son that just got back from 2 tours of duty.
 
yep, good stuff man. I always seem to write my best stuff when I'm bored, which usually tends to be in class. lol Anyway, that was very cool and yeah sometimes rhyme schemes can be a real b**tch, take a little bit of time away from it, come back to it, and you'll probably change have the stuff. Do that a few times and you'll have something you're completely stasified with. That was truely great stuff though, and do you mind if I add it to my webpage, with your name and a copyrigth symbol?
 
That's a GREAT Poem!! :)

You Have the Talent....Keep it up :)

I might enter the poem into my school's poetry slam later this year.

Do that!!

okay I decided to share one with you I wrote :)

SOLIDER


One by one they fall,
Blood seeping into the soil.
Terror they have seen,
Pain and suffering there will be!

Lives lost to this old battle,
Freedom will be fought.
Proud they are,
Brave they have been.

Father, Son, Brother, Uncle, Husband
Mother,Daughter,Sister, Aunt, Wife
That’s who they have been.
Proud we are, freedom we have!
Soldiers they have been.

Memories we will have,
The price they gladly paid.
God Bless Them,
Freedom we have!


LadyHawk
 
Thanks everyone! I've written another called "Lost"

It's about a Marine commander that gets captured and stuff... I'll post it when I find it...

bonnieblue716 said:
That was truely great stuff though, and do you mind if I add it to my webpage, with your name and a copyrigth symbol?


That'd be awesome... my teacher's trying to get me published... so anything I could do to spread my work, y'know? Email or PM me a link to your site, too... I'd like to see it.
 
Damien-
I loved your peom, I truley think its one of the better ones I have heard about war. Do you mind if I print it out with your name on it to post on the bulliten board in my JROTC room?
______________
If you can read, thank a teacher?
If you can read in english, thank a MARINE!
 
Cadet S.Sgt Stinson said:
Damien-
I loved your peom, I truley think its one of the better ones I have heard about war. Do you mind if I print it out with your name on it to post on the bulliten board in my JROTC room?


Definitely.

Just try to get a shot of it so I can see it in all its glory on the wall.


And about poetry.com? from what I hear, it's a scam. They offered to publish one of my poems (this one is too long to post) and gave it the "editors' choice award." Just try not to put too much money into it, if any. And if it turns out not to be a scam, let me know.
 
I found out it was a scam. Every poem I've put on there has won an award. Plus they have this "banquet" that's like 500 or so. But it still doesn't hurt to put them on there. At least others can see them.
 
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