istealfreefood
Active member
Your A Retired D.I. If:
1. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.
2. When you mention "sugar" you're not talking about a food group.
3. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
4. You can't have children because there's no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.
5. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
6. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question "Why is this kid like this?"
7. You think a Long Island Corny Dog is some form of prohibited sexual act.
8. You have been listed in the Museum of Natural History as a ‘Relic.’
9. Meat, preferably very rare makes your mouth drool uncontrollably in public.
10. When being pulled over by an L.A. Police Officer for a traffic citation you begin your conversation with, ‘Aren’t you one of those sorry SOBs whose butt we had to save during the LA riots.”
11. You have battle fatigue syndrome if you don’t regularly watch war movies on T.V.
12. The smell of gun powder and burnt flesh gives you an erection.
13. People you have trained at Parris Island still fear you and call you “sir.”
14. When applying for Social Security Benefits, you reminded the man evaluating your pension amount that you know 6 different ways to snap a man’s neck.
15. You still wear you dog tags, sleep with a .45 under your pillow, drive a used rebuilt Willy’s Jeep, and have barbed wire on top of your chain link fence around your house.
1. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.
2. When you mention "sugar" you're not talking about a food group.
3. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
4. You can't have children because there's no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.
5. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
6. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question "Why is this kid like this?"
7. You think a Long Island Corny Dog is some form of prohibited sexual act.
8. You have been listed in the Museum of Natural History as a ‘Relic.’
9. Meat, preferably very rare makes your mouth drool uncontrollably in public.
10. When being pulled over by an L.A. Police Officer for a traffic citation you begin your conversation with, ‘Aren’t you one of those sorry SOBs whose butt we had to save during the LA riots.”
11. You have battle fatigue syndrome if you don’t regularly watch war movies on T.V.
12. The smell of gun powder and burnt flesh gives you an erection.
13. People you have trained at Parris Island still fear you and call you “sir.”
14. When applying for Social Security Benefits, you reminded the man evaluating your pension amount that you know 6 different ways to snap a man’s neck.
15. You still wear you dog tags, sleep with a .45 under your pillow, drive a used rebuilt Willy’s Jeep, and have barbed wire on top of your chain link fence around your house.
