You might be from Canada if...

March 12th, 2005  

Topic: You might be from Canada if...

1. you know that "100 km/h" does NOT mean "100 Kanadian miles an hour."

2. you say "zed" instead of "zee".

3. you know that Mounties don't always dress like that.

4. you know that "Eskimos" are really called "Inuit."

5. the brother of Lt Frank Drebin ("Police Squad") used to be your Defence Minister.

6. your Finance Minister once wore mukluks in Parliament.

7. you watched game shows where nobody won anything ("Reach for the Top", "Front Page Challenge") or had to win five nights in a row to get a toaster oven ("Headline Hunters").

8. you know that most Canadians DON'T say "eh".

9. your Prime Minister once fought off a burglar by clocking him over the head with an Inuit carving.

10. you are fiercely proud of the NFB, even though you are probably only familiar with "The Log Driver's Waltz".

11. you picked up all the Canadian references in "Austin Powers."

12. 10 degrees is a little chilly, but 32 is a scorcher.

13. your Prime Minister went on a trip to China and threw snowballs at a statue of Mao Tse-Tung.

14. you have two time zones further east than "Eastern".

15. your country once invaded the USA and burned down the White House. (So don't push us.)

16. you wonder why Americans put soda pop in their beer bottles.

17. your country is the second-largest on the planet, yet 90% of your country's population lives within 100 miles of the southern border.

18. you can legally drink liquor while still a teenager.

19. your country boasts such towns as *****, St-Louis-du-Ha!-Ha!, and Head-Smashed-In-Buffalo-Jump.

20. your country won the first two truly "World" Series.

21. you know where to go to get the best cigars. Namely, Cuba.

22. your national anthem's OK, but the theme to "Hockey Night in Canada", well, don't that just make your spine tingle!

23. you got upset when they canceled "The Beachcombers."

24. your Post Office gave Santa his own Postal Code ("Santa Claus, North Pole, Northwest Territories, Canada H0H 0H0").

25. you have a national chain of tire stores that also sells hardware, toys, and decorative plants, and issues "money" that has a better trading value than the national currency.
March 12th, 2005  
rotc boy
16. you wonder why Americans put soda pop in their beer bottles.

that reminds me bout this kid from my school that took whiskey, and put it in a can of coke, but a teacher took it up and it was empty, so she threw it out, but it was so strong she could smell it so the kid got arrested and went to juvie. whats even funnier is he just got back from juvie a week before too some friggin people
May 15th, 2007  
Team Infidel

those are great
March 12th, 2009  
March 12th, 2009  
LOL! Good one!
March 12th, 2009  
Those are awesome.
March 14th, 2009  
... if you dont see anything funny about this article:


"Canada Warship Seizes Tanker in Arabian Sea" -- Reuters, Feb. 8, 2002


Oh Right, and Switzerland Has Nuclear Weapons

Arabian Sea ( Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax.

The Halifax Class frigate Vancouver.

"You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?" asked U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. "Like for war?
"Does Canada know?" he added.

"Nobody was more stunned than we were," said Kali Omari, first mate of the seized vessel. "We saw this frigate steaming toward us, and we were worried, but then we saw the maple leaf on the flag, and we thought, 'Oh, Canadians. What the hell do they want?'"

When an officer of the HMCS Vancouver announced that the tanker was about to be boarded, the crew of the detained ship was confused, said Omari, but their confusion quickly turned to anger when they saw what the Canadians sailors were carrying.

"They were armed. With guns," said Omari. "Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?"

"They were pretty rude, too," Omari added. "They started asking us all sorts of questions, like 'Where did that oil come from?' But first we wanted to know who gave them the damn warship."

According to Canadian defense officials, the Vancouver is one of four frigates deployed in the region to assist in the U.S.-led Afghanistan conflict. The tanker was stopped, officials said, because its cargo of crude oil violated United Nations sanctions, which prohibit Iraq from selling oil unless in exchange for food and medicine.

The U.N. said the incident is already under investigation, and promised swift action against those found responsible for giving the Canadians guns. Initial findings indicate that the Vancouver crew may have been watching too many American television shows.

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