MEN

Status
Not open for further replies.

tomtom22

Chief Engineer
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will
fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.

______________________________________________



Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well,
I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what
I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say
to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know
where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and
break wind, as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________



Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone
to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and
moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so
for you, this is no problem.

_______________________________________________



Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be
expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu.' For all I
know, these are the same thing.

_______________________________________________



Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that
this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person
gets here and has to put it back together.

_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though
one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....
( applies to engineers mainly).

_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm
thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars,
sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when
you ask, so don't ask.

_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or
have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she
calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever
you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it.
And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

_______________________________________________



Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the
movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't
...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will
certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to
others.

_______________________________________________



Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I
thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,
too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it,
looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go
now?

_______________________________________________





Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2008, I
will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,
the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes,
and I'll do the rest...... Like wandering around in the garden
with a beer wondering what to do.



:cheers:​
 
Last edited:
My significant other was looking over my shoulder when i opened this...needless to say there is a size 5 patent leather high heel resting in one of my ears...and im still laughing:bravo:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top