The Marine, Dan Rather, and Cokie Roberts

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News Anchor Dan Rather, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts and a U.S. Marine
were hiking through the desert one day
when they were captured by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to the
village and brought before the leader. The
leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the
condemned a last wish. Before we kill and dismember you, do you have any
last requests?"

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowl full of
hot, spicy chili." The leader nodded
to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all
and said, "Now I can die content."

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape recorder and describe the scene
here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it
and know that I was on the job
till the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape
recorder and Roberts dictated some
comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your
final wish?"

"Kick me in the rearend," said the Marine."

"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ***," insisted the
Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the
***.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 45 acp pistol
from inside his cammies, and shot
the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack,
pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a
flash, the Iraqis were dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather and Roberts, they asked him, "Why
didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the butt?"

"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberals call ME the
aggressor?"
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