Letterman's Top Ten List For Saddam's Trial

Charge 7

Master Gunner
TOP TEN STRATEGIES OF SADDAM HUSSEIN'S LAWYERS


10. Play up the "at least he didn't do steroids" angle

9. Pin everything on Saddam's schemeing brother Larry Hussein

8. Answer every charge with "no you're thinking of Iran"

7. Explain he was driven insane by the intense flavor of new Spicy Nacho Doritos

6. Brand prosecutor's list of 12,000 witnesses as "flimsy"

5. Brighten the mood by calling to the stand the always charming Tony Danza

4. Request one of those "confined to your 153 acre estate" punishments like Martha Stewart got

3. Give Saddam a white suit and a turkey leg to make him a hilarious "Boss Hogg-like" figure

2. Let Saddam go nuts and execute everyone in the courtroom

and the number one strategy...

1. "If the underpants don't fit, you must acquit"
 
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