You Know You're a Californian If..

Missileer

Missileer

Active member
Californians

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:


1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $100,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown,

and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball
cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy talking on their cells phones.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license.
If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
 
Good stuff, Missileer!

Hey, do you know the Californian lightbulb joke?

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Four. One to screw it in and three to "share the experience".

;) :lol:
 
Then, when the light comes on, they can stare at it and say "wow, man! look at that!" "Yeah tubular man!" "Hey who's got the roach? Pass it on."
 
Hence why I live in the Great State of Florida.

You know your from Florida when...

1) You don't measure a drive in distance, you measure it in time. Like "Oh, it's about twenty mintues north from here." or "Head down the road for like five minutes. You'll get there."

2) All of you County Fairs are named after a Fruit or insect.

3) You Speak Einglish and Spanish in one stentence.

4) It takes 10 hours to leave the state but only twenty minutes to go to the beach.

5) During a hurricane, you throw a party and have a BBQ.

6) When the tempature and humidity reach 98F and 98%, you go out in a pair of jeans and a Guayabera.

7) No matter what, the FLorida Trunpike, 1-95, and 1-75 are ALWAYS under contruction.

8) Janet Reno will vanish if she drive through Dade County Florida.

9) You carry and everyone you know carries.

10) Last but not the least, You'll run on your spare tire for three months but will get your car AC fixed in hthe same day that it breaks.
 
5.56X45mm said:
Hence why I live in the Great State of Florida.

1) You don't measure a drive in distance, you measure it in time. Like "Oh, it's about twenty mintues north from here." or "Head down the road for like five minutes. You'll get there."

A friend that I grew up with measures time in beer. It's pretty interesting when you think of it. From Dallas to Juarez, Mexico = 2 cases even. From Dallas to Westfest in West, Texas = 0.75 case. From his home to the liquor store = 2 ea 12oz beers (it's close). There are even more but too many to list.
Click to expand...
 
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