You Know Your Infantry When

October 14th, 2004  

Topic: You Know Your Infantry When

You know your infantry when…….

You have a patch pinned inside your BDU that says “Infantry…here to save your ass, not kiss it!

You believe some people are only alive because it’s illegal to kill them.

You do the "only-27-more-minutes-of-the-shift-from-hell happy dance"

You always follow the rules but your wise enough to forget them sometimes.

You can’t cure stupid

You believe not all people are annoying; some are dead

You believe the definition of stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet

You think pizza, cookies, and coke make a balanced meal

You tell MP’s and tankers where to go without fear

You believe that saying, 'It can't get any worse' causes it to get worse just to show you it can

You've ever used the acronym F.T.D. (Fixin' to Die) or L.T.B.B (Lucky To Be Breathing)

You’ve ever thought M16’s, M4’s, AK47’s and grenade launchers, would make really good Christmas presents.

You’ve ever spent more on a gun than on a car payment.

You notice that you use more four-letter words now than before you enlisted.

You look in your closet and can't find anything not related to combat, your branch of service, or something you usually wear to PT.

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong and if nothing has gone wrong, you obviously don't understand the situation

Everyone gets treated exactly the same---until they PISS YOU OFF!

The hum-vee you typically patrol in is a mixture of can do, can't do, and why the hell not!

You can identify the following Syndromes: F.O.L. (Full Of Liquor) A.D.A.S.T.W. (Arrived Dead And Stayed That Way) W.O.T.A.M. (Waste of Time & Money)

You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky

You automatically multiply by three the number of drinks a PFC claims to have daily

You can keep a straight face when a PFC responds, "Just two beers"

Your idea of a meal break is finishing your coffee before it gets cold (I'm trying to remember the last time...)

You think "awake and stupid" is an appropriate choice for mental status

You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level

Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal

You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac

You believe more foreign governments should require a permit to reproduce

You believe the 'On-call' program is a satanic plot

You believe unspeakable evils will befall you if the word 'quiet' is uttered

You believe every hum-vee with PFC’s should have a Valium salt lick

You believe MP’s and Tankers are demonically possessed.

You believe the term 'dumb shit' should be an apporiate term on formal reports.

You’ve ever used the term ’to stupid to live’ and meant it.

You believe your next project will be a book entitled 100 Ways To Get Hurt and Live.

You find humor in other people's stupidity

Your idea of fine dining is sitting down to eat

You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf down your food, even in the nicest restaurants

You believe a good tape job will fix anything, you’ve seen it work!

Your idea of fun is a mortar at shift change.

You don’t believe 90% of what your told, and 75% of what you see.

You have your weekends off planned a year in advance

Your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack and kill squirrels on patrol.
October 14th, 2004  
Nice stuff.
October 17th, 2004  
lovin it
January 17th, 2007  
Love it!
April 14th, 2007  
Team Infidel
April 14th, 2007  
Good stuff there!