How you know if you've spent too much time in the forces...
1. You think beer is one of the four basic food groups.
2. You pronounce 'sergeant' like 'sarn't'
3. Your monthly paycheck is smaller than the average social security
payment.
4. Your high-tech equipment looks like it was used against Mussolini.
5. You can wax and buff like a veteran cleaner.
6. You use acronyms in a social setting.
7. The thought of buying a new pair of boots makes you perspire with
excitement.
8. You compulsively walk in step with your companions.
9. You determine an individual's rank before you even glance at their
face.
10. You dream in cam green...
11. You get off the couch and salute when they play the national anthem
on TV.
12. You spend half your time feeling superior to civilians and the
other half wishing you were one of them.
13. The word 'gas' makes you reach for a mask instead of a Mylanta.
14. There is more starch on your uniform than there is in your diet.
15. It is nearly impossible for you to cheat on your tax return.
16. You must wait six months and fill out five separate forms to get
toilet paper for your bathroom.
17. You must wait two months for a bonus to show up on your paycheck, but only 2 hours for a deduction to be taken off.
18. You speak of the Air Force with equal parts pride and disdain.
19. Hungry Jacks is considered a gourmet treat.
20. Promotions leave you with a bleeding forehead and broken
collarbone.
21. You can get kicked out of an interview or exam for walking in the
wrong way.
22. It takes nine hours to get to the site of your field exercise, but
only two to get back.
23. The thought of your colleagues armed with live rounds fills you
with equal amounts of fear and panic.
24. You are required to obey the orders of a scrubby kid half your age.
25. Your kids put hospital corners on their Barbie doll beds.
26. You have polypro or Gore-Tex everything.
27. When you go camping, you check for possible avenues of approach and good fields of fire before setting up your tent.
28. You ridicule other campers for setting up downwind and down slope
of the latrine.
29. You never complain about having to stand and eat at the same time
at parties.
30. You have an urge to line up your shoes under your bed.
31. You've answered your phone at home like at work.
32. You have to look up your parent's phone number, but can dial the
five work numbers with no problem at all.
33. You don't own any blue ink pens.
34. You keep a box of Ration Packs at home and in the boot of your car
for emergencies.
35. You carry your mobile phone to the shower.
36. No-one understands the stories you tell because of all the acronyms.
37. Your two-year old calls everyone in cams "Daddy"
38. Your spouse hasn't unpacked the good china in twenty years.
39. You ruin the movie for everyone around you by pointing out the
unrealistic military scenes.
40. All your jokes begin "there was a soldier, a sailor and an airman..."
41. You understood and relate to any of the above items!!
I have a funny idea this will make everyone just sit there read and at the end of each line go yup
Jay :rambo:
1. You think beer is one of the four basic food groups.
2. You pronounce 'sergeant' like 'sarn't'
3. Your monthly paycheck is smaller than the average social security
payment.
4. Your high-tech equipment looks like it was used against Mussolini.
5. You can wax and buff like a veteran cleaner.
6. You use acronyms in a social setting.
7. The thought of buying a new pair of boots makes you perspire with
excitement.
8. You compulsively walk in step with your companions.
9. You determine an individual's rank before you even glance at their
face.
10. You dream in cam green...
11. You get off the couch and salute when they play the national anthem
on TV.
12. You spend half your time feeling superior to civilians and the
other half wishing you were one of them.
13. The word 'gas' makes you reach for a mask instead of a Mylanta.
14. There is more starch on your uniform than there is in your diet.
15. It is nearly impossible for you to cheat on your tax return.
16. You must wait six months and fill out five separate forms to get
toilet paper for your bathroom.
17. You must wait two months for a bonus to show up on your paycheck, but only 2 hours for a deduction to be taken off.
18. You speak of the Air Force with equal parts pride and disdain.
19. Hungry Jacks is considered a gourmet treat.
20. Promotions leave you with a bleeding forehead and broken
collarbone.
21. You can get kicked out of an interview or exam for walking in the
wrong way.
22. It takes nine hours to get to the site of your field exercise, but
only two to get back.
23. The thought of your colleagues armed with live rounds fills you
with equal amounts of fear and panic.
24. You are required to obey the orders of a scrubby kid half your age.
25. Your kids put hospital corners on their Barbie doll beds.
26. You have polypro or Gore-Tex everything.
27. When you go camping, you check for possible avenues of approach and good fields of fire before setting up your tent.
28. You ridicule other campers for setting up downwind and down slope
of the latrine.
29. You never complain about having to stand and eat at the same time
at parties.
30. You have an urge to line up your shoes under your bed.
31. You've answered your phone at home like at work.
32. You have to look up your parent's phone number, but can dial the
five work numbers with no problem at all.
33. You don't own any blue ink pens.
34. You keep a box of Ration Packs at home and in the boot of your car
for emergencies.
35. You carry your mobile phone to the shower.
36. No-one understands the stories you tell because of all the acronyms.
37. Your two-year old calls everyone in cams "Daddy"
38. Your spouse hasn't unpacked the good china in twenty years.
39. You ruin the movie for everyone around you by pointing out the
unrealistic military scenes.
40. All your jokes begin "there was a soldier, a sailor and an airman..."
41. You understood and relate to any of the above items!!
I have a funny idea this will make everyone just sit there read and at the end of each line go yup
Jay :rambo:
