just 1 nagging doubt

giangreco001

New Member
Hi, I am currently considering joining the military (most likley the Navy) due to a number of reasons.

1) I beleive that every man should commit at least 2 years to defending his country.
2) A lack of personal discipline has hindered my college performance and I think it will help me to get my grades up once I go back.
3) It is damn near impossible for me to find a decent paying job, (Ive been unemployed for over a month, and not for lack of trying) and am tired of forcing my mother and step father to support me even though their economic cituation is currently very bad.
4)Basically I just want to better myself in every way possible and I beleive that the military is the best way to do so.

Now the downside.

I think it will be extremely hard for me to just up and leave my friends and family. I have done this before in the form of living on dorm, but the distinct difference that somewhat deters my resolve is thati cant just go home for a weekend whenever i feel like it. I did not do so very often when I was at school (probably only like once every 2-3 months) but the option was still there.

Now for question im trying to ask...can some of you please tell me about your own experienceswith leaving your friends and family behind and how you dealt with the "homesickness" (for lack of a better word). And I would also like to know, does it subside after a while?

I thank anybody who is kind enough to take time out of their day to answer my question.

~Mike
 
Mike, my experience was 45 years ago, but I'm sure I will never forget it for a great number of reasons.

I joined the Royal Australian Navy as a 15 year old Junior Recruit which meant that I spent the first 12 months ashore under a very strict training regime. I won't go into detail, but I will suffice to say that the methods we were trained under would not be allowed today. In fact in latter years there have been two Royal Commissions held investigating the way in which we were treated. There were only two, leaves granted in that time one of two weeks and one at Christmas of four weeks.

For the first three months home sickness was a big issue, although I don't think that anyone ever mentioned it, certainly not to his classmates as we were all in the same boat and he would have received very little sympathy. After this initial 12 week period we were given two weeks of our annual leave and anyone who wanted out did not have to return,.. Every single man returned from that leave although the next six month period was to see some of them leave or be removed for all manner of reasons. Disciplinary, Medical, and Sporting injuries etc.

By this time a degree of camaraderie had developed and homesickness was not such an issue, anyway, we were kept too busy to dwell on it most of the time, with nearly every minute of the day spoken for.

The last three months although still far more rigorous than the treatment given to "adult" recruits seemed like a dream with daily leave allowed once per month, and visits to the base movies once a week if you were not on duty (one day in five)

109 of us completed 12 months out of an initial intake of 125.

When we passed out and went to the fleet, we were still only rated as ordinary seamen under training with such restrictions as no drinking and Cinderella leave, but it seemed like every day was Christmas Day and homesicknes was the furthest thing from my mind as I went to foreign ports and places I had never even dreamed of all in the company of my new mates who now viewed the average civilian as, "not even knowing that he was alive".

I have no doubt that there were many times I would have liked to have thrown in the towel, but my pride would not allow me to do it. Now I am thankful for that training as it has stood me in good stead all my life and I have never been out of work.

If we wish to get ahead in life, we must all accept some degree of discomfort, and it is better that we learn these lessons early. Comfort in later life, will come as a result of your earlier suffering.

Believe me, with just a little effort on your behalf you will not only get through it, you will live to look back on it as one of the better things you have done with your life.
 
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We may have a lot of things in common except I never left college despite doing a pretty shoddy job.

As for homesickness... let me give you my story.

I joined the RoK Marines back in 2005. I had grown up entirely abroad, my command of Korean was limited and remember that Korea is pretty xenophobic. A lot of guys resented the fact that I was somewhat foreign. They think growing up abroad is some kind of paradise. Despite working very hard, I was the target of a LOT of crap. Like Spike, I won't go into them... the RoK Marine Corps is notorious for being a pretty bad place full of pretty bad people. Not to mention, even when I went on leave, I only had one friend in South Korea. We became friends because he lived in the US a few years and went to the RoK Army a few years back. We both liked to go watch soccer games and that's how we started hanging out... but imagine that... ONE friend! And my family was all abroad. Until I saw my brother late last year, I had not seen him in three years.
So how's that for being away from people in a foreign land?
But guess what? After a while I got used to it and started becoming damned good at it. You will get used to being away from your folks and you will get to know your own people and grow close to them. Do not worry. It's only a stage you have to go through.
In fact, I met my wife while I was in the Marines. She was a graduate student when I was doing undergraduate in the US and she was stopping by. After communicating by email and such for a while, she popped the question.
Now after life took me this way and that way I'm seriously considering re-enlisting in the RoK Army... not sure about officer but most definitely can make E-6 real quick.
So the bottom line is, do not worry. You will be fine my friend :)
 
Hi Mike,

You know, my young friend, many take the word sacrifice and toss it around with no true meaning as to its real implications in regards to military life. It sounds like you've thought this through quite a bit, and I applaud your intelligence for doing so.

Yes, it is VERY hard to leave friends, family and loved ones behind. Hard on us, and equally hard on them.

I was Infantry, so there were no, err, female temptations for me when deployed (we don't allow women to serve in the Infantry in any capacity) - in the rear, of course, was another story.

But in the Navy, you'll be serving sea duty with lots of women that prefer pregnancy over deployment. So step one is making certain that your moral fortitude and personal integrity is ingrained in a manner that will present a professional face. You WILL miss your loved ones, and you'll be very tempted to replace that longing with intimate contact. If you are attached to another, this is unacceptable and is one of the biggest bruises on the otherwise stellar reputation of the US Navy.

Does the homesickness subside? Well, yes and no. When you're on duty, fulfilling a mission, there is no time to think about family and friends and home. You're just go, go, go. But in your downtime, you'll think of them and miss them. As your tour goes on, you'll not think of them any less, but that kick-in-the-gut feeling will eventually go away for the most part.

Leaving this world is only one part of the sacrifice we endure as soldiers (err, seamen - sorry, but us Army pukes have difficulty relating to other branches' terms).
 
Homesickness- i don't know that, it was easy for me because i was born into a military family, never considered sth. my home for more than 3 years. But i think you'll get over it and once you come home you'll find out that these moments with your family/friends will be far more intensive...
And you'll find true Comrades- that's what really helps me in hard situations when there is no family around. Comradship is a very strong weapon- so to speak for the german army... can't speak for other nations but i guess its nearly the same...
:bravo:
 
I was called up, and had to go. Well I just had to get with it, I knew I had two years to do and it would pass regardless on how badly I felt about it. Still it was not long before I had made friends with people in the Regiment who were in the same boat as my self. Then after a few months I made another change when i changed Regiments. Again I made friends their that have lasted a life time, well nearly. Do I think that my time was well spent, well yes I have seen and done things I would have never done in Civvie street, it made me grow up, and I think I am a better person for my time spent in the forces.
 
Mike, I feel that the fact you have put these questions up means that you will find whatever fortitude you need. Your dorm experience will certainly help.

My experience was this. I was at a good school and had yearned to go to sea, which was an island tradition in this country in those days of limited travel opportunity. My dad's brothers had spent the war on ships such as HMS Hood and Queen Elizabeth as part of their naval careers.

The Blue Star line offered me place as a Navigation Officer cadet, when I was 15. However, at the last moment I was rejected on medical when it was suprisingly found that I was slightly short-sighted. There was no longer any chance that I could become a naval officer. I insisted that I needed to go to sea, but they insisted that I would not suit or like a job as a ship's boy. I won, and with great reluctance, after I had rejected a civilian job at the head office, Blue Star sent me off to the sea- school at the old naval prison at Gravesend, with the guarantee of a ship to follow.

I took myself off to Gravesend, and I remember standing in front of the great prison door on my arrival. The steel shutter went up just enough for me to stoop under it and as I did the Scouser (Liverpool) opening it shouted to me to change my mind and turn around while I had the chance; he found it most amusing.

Well the sea school was drawn from all the cities of Britain and it was tough old place. I wouldn't say that any of us actually enjoyed it, but we adjusted and soon found new pals, who I remember to this day. After a few days any home-sickness faded and really we were too busy overcoming our new environment. As a little guy I had to stand my ground, but after a few months of the toughening up process I emerged in one piece, and I remember that on the bus to the docks for my first ship, a guy who sat near me, a few years older , obviously misreading my bruised face gave me a very good piece of advice which I never forgot. He told me that however tough I thought I was, on board ship I would ALWAYS find someone tougher.

My first ship took me to many ports in West Indies, USA, Canada, and Europe. I was the only boy, and I was very well looked after and trained, really without realising it, just like an apprenticeship really. I had to work really hard, and when we hit port I played hard. Girls in most ports ? Well certainly; at sixteen, what dreams are made of. My next ship took the same route until Panama, then across the Pacific to New Zealand, and the next one back to USA etc.

Now, let me tell you that we were often many weeks between ports, but homesickness always faded within a few days to an acceptable level. For me sea-sickness was a much worse problem and lasted the first three days of every trip, after which the most atrocious weather never bothered me. Nelson had the same problem. Every trip I made new mates, who I remember to this day, and i had unforgettable experiences. No problems there, and when I was 18 I volunteered to complete my UK forces duty, expectin to serve in the Royal Navy. But of course they put me in the Army & after a three months training at Maryhill, the old military prison in Glasgow, I was off to Egypt. Again, not much time for home-sickness, but again I was seasick for 3 days on the troopship home!

I made great mates again, and I am still mates with some of those still with us, even though we have not met physically for 50 years.

Mike, you sound someone who will go far in your chosen path, and please let me assure that if a sensitive soul like me could roll with these issues, then anyone can, and most certainly someone like you, as a single guy.
 
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I had my 18th Birthday as a soldier during basic training... that was... different from the common 'party' i guess, but theres an ancient saying:
if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger :box:
 
Wow, DelBoy, GREAT story! Thanks much for sharing!

Thanks AZ. I am trying to resurrect some snaps of that first ship when I was 16, which includes passing through Panama Canal, my little 6000 ton cargo tub, crossing a US aircraft carrier in one of the locks. Yessir - The Fresno Star - heading for San Francisco, LA, Eureka, Portland, Tacoma, New Westminster and Vancouver, where we picked up our ONE passenger, a diamond merchant heading for Europe. I have been told that was the most expensive way to travel.
 
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You will be too busy in basic to worry about home. Then when you finish that and you are in your IET's and unit, you will have a new family right there with you.
 
Most of us forget the trouble we went through to adjust but if he sticks to his plan, he'll be where some of us are now.
 
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