Johnny at school.

Del Boy

Active member
Warning.

This is a blast from the past, but contains bad language. Apologies in advance ladies; my only excuse is that it is funny.

Little Johnny was a swearer. The infants’ teacher knew this only too well, and was onto him.

One day she told the class she was going to start a vocabulary test. Going thro’ the alphabet in order, starting with A, she would ask for words with that capital.

OK. Says she, let us try A.

Johnny’s hand shoots up. ‘Miss, Miss, me Miss’.

No thank you Johnny. Who else has a hand up – you, Mary, let’s hear from you.

Mary stands up ; Johnny quietly hisses from behind her ‘Mary – say Arce, arce, say arce!’

‘Animal, Miss’ says Mary.

Very good Mary, you may sit down.


Next day the test is repeated. ‘B’.

Up goes Johnny’s hand. No thank you very much, Johnny. We’ll have James.

James stands up. Johnny whispers – ‘Jim, say b*****ks, say b*****ks. Jim ignores him.

Barn Miss.’ ‘Very good indeed James, you may be seated.


Next morning C crops up. Again, the keenest is Johnny – up goes his hand ‘Please Miss.’ ‘No, not today Johnny, thank you. Sarah, your turn.'

Up stands Sarah. From behind hisses Johnny. ‘Sarah – say C**k – C**k – say C**k!’

But Sarah is too much a good girl for that ‘Coffee Miss,' says she.


Next morning, and teacher is pleased with the progress and the enthusiasm.

OK class, she says, this morning it is D. Who wants to try for D. ?

One hand is by far the fastest. Miss, Miss, give me a turn. Teacher looks at him, he’s busting to air his knowledge; she thinks, I have to give him a chance, I mustn’t keep ignoring the little chap.

She considers – Hmmm. D. ... I don’t think he can do much with that; D is safe, I think. Yes. D is the one.

‘Have you got a good answer Johnny ‘ – ‘Yes Miss, Yes Miss!’ ‘OK, let’s have it’.

‘Dwarf, Miss’.

Teacher is relieved, surprised and very pleased to be off the hook.

‘Johnny’ she says ‘ that is really very good indeed, you deserve a round of applause for Dwarf’.

Johnny beams, pleased with himself ‘Yes Miss .... Dwarf. With a p***k like a Donkey'.
 
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Well, I agree. Of course, that Johnny is grown up now. Lurking somewhere on this forum I think; keeps whispering to me to say things.:smile:
 
I knew it!!!!!! I knew Johnny was here somewhere!!!!! I think its Missileer. :mrgreen: :angel:
 
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