How to speak "Womeneese"

Robert

Active member
Womenese

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No no no! There are two types of English.

WOMEN´S ENGLISH

1.Yes = No
2.No = Yes
3.Maybe = No
4.We need = I want
5.I am sorry = You’ll be sorry
6.We need to talk = You’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8.Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9.I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10.You´re very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN´S ENGLISH

1.I am hungry = I am hungry
2.I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4.Nice dress = Nice cleavagel
5.I love you = Let’s have sex now
6.I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7.May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
8.Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
9.Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
10. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit = I’m gay

And finally…..

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers:

A MAN DOUSED IN PETROL AND SET ON FIRE, WITH SCISSORS STUCK IN HIS EYES AND A BASEBALL BAT SHOVED UP HIS BACKSIDE!

//Micha.;-)
 
WOMEN´S ENGLISH

1.Yes = No
2.No = Yes
3.Maybe = No
4.We need = I want
5.I am sorry = You’ll be sorry
6.We need to talk = You’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8.Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9.I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10.You´re very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


Lol...........
 
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