How are children suppose to be raised?

I tried the remedial PT with my oldest and it worked. The youngest on the other hand thinks it's a game. :lol:

I totally agree with setting an example by your own actions.

IMO you provide your children with the example and tools. But after a certain age it's up to them what they make of them.
 
Not a parent yet, but hope I can be helpful.
I think most of what has been said in here is correct, but I would also say that, luckily or unfortunately, you can't be a different parent than the very person you are. I mean don't try so hard to be a certain type of person, because you will fail if that's not truly yourself. You might be 33 % gentle, 33% authoritarian, 33& of whatsoever you are suggested to be, but you won't be able to fake it for too long.
The kids will somehow "smell it" if you know what I mean. What type of parent you be depends almost entirely on what type of parent you had. Wait before drawing any conclusion though: what I mean is that if you had a bad example (which happens more often than thought) you will treasure your experience and learn not to do and learn a lot from that.
Same if you had a good balanced example at home: it will come out natural for you how to deal with your kids.
Be firm in your principles and provide him with a set of principles in which YOU have to show you believe. Doesnt matter if he aint gonna believe in those same principles or attitudes, but he will see what a man should be like.
Nonetheless, don't be afraid of showing your weak side, at time, it will make him intelligent, understanding and sensitive.
In the end, be yourself and if you're a good and balanced person you will have no big problem. My 2 cents.
 
I think that I am getting a lot of information. I have taken childhood development courses when I was in college in my younger years, those classes I do not know if they will assist me or not. It has been a while. I took them when I found out that my GF was pregnant, then I found out that it was not my baby and I discontinued those classes and took up a focus on Psychology. So I know a little and it basically rehashes what I have learned. So basically all I can do is try and raise them the best that I can and hope for the best.
 
greenarmy1980 said:
I think that I am getting a lot of information. I have taken childhood development courses when I was in college in my younger years, those classes I do not know if they will assist me or not. It has been a while. I took them when I found out that my GF was pregnant, then I found out that it was not my baby and I discontinued those classes and took up a focus on Psychology. So I know a little and it basically rehashes what I have learned. So basically all I can do is try and raise them the best that I can and hope for the best.

Sure man, don't worry too much. Do your utmost and let go. As far as him/her not being your baby, forget he/she is not and he/she will forget back. We are with you man.
 
There's always the thing I most feared when I was at "that age", the old "just wait `til your Father gets home young man".

Who the Parents are all of a sudden doesn't matter when you see the little person for the first time. At that moment, your heart will be shared with him/her. The old saw about any man can be a Father, but it takes a special man to be a Dad is and will always be one of the eternal truths of life. My Wife and I have shared over 43 years of Marriage but there is a bond between Dad and Son or Daughter that is unique. The same is true for Mom and the little ones. It's hard to explain but when they are sad, you are, when they are happy, you are. When they are older and experience a first heartbreak, half of yours will feel the same heartbreak.
 
Missileer said:
Who the Parents are all of a sudden doesn't matter when you see the little person for the first time.

I bow to this successful parenting experience and to this awesome presentation. My bad if you think I was wrong on that.
 
Italian Guy said:
Missileer said:
Who the Parents are all of a sudden doesn't matter when you see the little person for the first time.

I bow to this successful parenting experience and to this awesome presentation. My bad if you think I was wrong on that.

I think you and are saying the same thing, Italian Guy.
 
You all have been a great help in helping me understand the dynamics of raising a child. Unfortunately the relationship did not work out once she found out that I may be deployed again real soon. I am just glad it happened now and not while I was on deployment.
 
greenarmy1980 said:
You all have been a great help in helping me understand the dynamics of raising a child. Unfortunately the relationship did not work out once she found out that I may be deployed again real soon. I am just glad it happened now and not while I was on deployment.

So how about the baby Green? If I can ask of course.
 
The child mentioned is four years old and I took him outside and we played Army and stuff, I think he will do fine with whomever his mother chooses to date, he seems really bright and easy going.
 
greenarmy1980 said:
The child mentioned is four years old and I took him outside and we played Army and stuff, I think he will do fine with whomever his mother chooses to date, he seems really bright and easy going.

I hope for the best.
 
Children do definitly learn by example.I try to remain calm with my kids(3) and show them that they will receive more positive attention from good behaviour than bad. Keep punishment short and back it up with positive reusurance.
 
I know this may be a little late, but one thing to think is there is nothin wrong with healthy fear. I do not beat my kids but I do believe in a swat if they need it. One thing is I do not have to, they know and do not want to get swatted. But there also is a difference between scared to death and a respectful fear.
 
Raising children is like riding a bike. Nobody can really explain how its done it just comes naturally and yes you might fall off now and again but eventually you just find your own way and it happens instinctively and you wonder why you were ever concerned in the first place.
As far as teenagers go(I have 2) my method is to have instilled a work ethic into them.
In this materialistic world kids want certain things.
I make my boys do chores to earn money for everything from bus fares to visit freinds,money to go to cinema or swimming,fees to attend martial arts clubs and cadets and even clothes and training shoes.
Misbehaviour is punished with appropriate fines and it seems to work as their behaviour is exemplary.
As far as young children go I dont think the fear of a smack is a bad thing but that is how it should be.such a rare occurence that just the fear is enough to curb misbehaviour.
Love and kindness balanced with them knowing whos boss.
 
Have a plan

My girlfriend takes char of the children and I´m taking char of my weapon and the boys in my team.
and when i´m old the children can take char of me.
Isen´t that a good idea
:mrgreen:
 
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