Pacific Lure
Active member
Q: What does HMO stand for?
A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.
Q: I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
A: Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients; and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country.
Q: Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A: No. Only those you need.
Q: Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A: Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.
Q: What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A: You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
Q: My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?
A: Poke yourself in the eye.
Q: What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A: You really shouldn't do that.
Q: I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?
A: Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.
Q: Will health care be different in the next century?
A: No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.
Many of us "Folks" (those over 50, WAY over 50 or on the way to 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves.
We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions.
Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Pierced nipples that hang below the waist
11. Bikinis and liver spots
12. Short shorts and varicose veins
13. In line skates and a walker
And the ultimate "Bad Taste" in fashion for the "Older Folks"..........
14. Thongs and Depends
Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.
A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.
Q: I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
A: Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients; and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country.
Q: Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A: No. Only those you need.
Q: Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A: Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.
Q: What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A: You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
Q: My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?
A: Poke yourself in the eye.
Q: What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A: You really shouldn't do that.
Q: I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?
A: Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.
Q: Will health care be different in the next century?
A: No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.
Many of us "Folks" (those over 50, WAY over 50 or on the way to 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves.
We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions.
Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Pierced nipples that hang below the waist
11. Bikinis and liver spots
12. Short shorts and varicose veins
13. In line skates and a walker
And the ultimate "Bad Taste" in fashion for the "Older Folks"..........
14. Thongs and Depends
Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.
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