Got a few more here!

hawky94

The Brit Pack (probationer)
1. My girlfriend threatened to leave me because of my obsession with Call of Duty.

It's okay though, she won't get far. I put a claymore by the door.

2. My wife said that she was leaving because I'm so arrogant.

I told her to close the door on her way back in.

3. A horse walks into a bar, the barman asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "I came first in the Olympics, and they gave the medal to the tw*t on my back.

4. My girlfriend was looking through my DVD collection. "What's 'Fight Club'? I've never heard of it," she said.

Glad to see the system's working.

Keep goin'!
 
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