The German and the prostitute.

The Highway Man

The Highway Man

Brit Pack 2I/C
A German guy approaches a lady of the night.
'I vish to buy sex viz you.'
'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge £20 an hour.'
'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'
'No problem,' she replies cautiously,'I can do little kinky.'
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
'I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und knees.'
The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees.
'Now you vill get on your hans und knees.'
She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.
'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'
She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying.)
She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.
The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say,
'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position?'
'Ah,' says the German . .
'zat is ze....
Four-sprung Duck technique'
 
The Highway Man said:
A German guy approaches a lady of the night.
'I vish to buy sex viz you.'
'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge £20 an hour.'
'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'
'No problem,' she replies cautiously,'I can do little kinky.'
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
'I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und knees.'
The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees.
'Now you vill get on your hans und knees.'
She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.
'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'
She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying.)
She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.
The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say,
'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position?'
'Ah,' says the German . .
'zat is ze....
Four-sprung Duck technique'
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AUDI!!!!... :p
 
Fire up the Quattro! :D

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BritinAfrica said:
Your very own words^^^^^^^^^:type:

Need I say more?:mrgreen:
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I stand by that comment as I said I own one. Never said I drove it. ;) :p

It's Mrs CF's car. ;)

Highway Man knows what I mean. L3 on the motorway is the German lane. Whenever you see some knobbish driving, it's usually an Audi.

As Jeremy Clarkson said, "all the cocks that used to drive BMW's, now drive Audi's".
 
Capt Frogman said:
I stand by that comment as I said I own one. Never said I drove it. ;) :p

It's Mrs CF's car. ;)

Highway Man knows what I mean. L3 on the motorway is the German lane. Whenever you see some knobbish driving, it's usually an Audi.

As Jeremy Clarkson said, "all the cocks that used to drive BMW's, now drive Audi's".
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I drove BMW for a long time, I found them now boring. Nice cars to drive, but boring. I like Mercedes C-class; I also like the Jaguar XF
 
I3BrigPvSk said:
I drove BMW for a long time, I found them now boring. Nice cars to drive, but boring. I like Mercedes C-class; I also like the Jaguar XF
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I'd say you were a BMW 3 Series guy?

The Jag XF is stunning. I test drove one when they first came out. Just not "sporty" enough for me.

I'd love a Merc C63 AMG though. :D :rock:

I'm in two minds over a new Merc C63 AMG or the BMW M5.
smiley_drive.gif
 
Capt Frogman said:
I'd say you were a BMW 3 Series guy?

The Jag XF is stunning. I test drove one when they first came out. Just not "sporty" enough for me.

I'd love a Merc C63 AMG though. :D :rock:

I'm in two minds over a new Merc C63 AMG or the BMW M5.
smiley_drive.gif
Click to expand...

Yes, I drove the 3 series for over ten years, what I find boring with the BMW is the interior. I like the Jaguar because of the interior; I have a weak spot for wood and leather. I like the C63 AMG, so you are in for a new car?
 
I3BrigPvSk said:
Yes, I drove the 3 series for over ten years, what I find boring with the BMW is the interior. I like the Jaguar because of the interior; I have a weak spot for wood and leather. I like the C63 AMG, so you are in for a new car?
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A lot of the interiors are now boring. Too much plastic and cheap looking.

Leather is nice but a nightmare to look after/maintain.

I replace my cars every 3 years so it's time this year. I'm split between the C63 and M5.
 
Capt Frogman said:
A lot of the interiors are now boring. Too much plastic and cheap looking.

Leather is nice but a nightmare to look after/maintain.

I replace my cars every 3 years so it's time this year. I'm split between the C63 and M5.
Click to expand...

Are you going for the sedan/saloon or the touring versions? I think there is a BMW M5 T, I am not so sure about the Merc
 
Both come in estate versions (touring).

I'm a big fan of fast estates. I can't decide whether to go down the estate route or not. Mrs CF says we don't need another estate, but thats because she won't be able to park it! :lol:
 
Capt Frogman said:
Both come in estate versions (touring).

I'm a big fan of fast estates. I can't decide whether to go down the estate route or not. Mrs CF says we don't need another estate, but thats because she won't be able to park it! :lol:
Click to expand...

You have dogs, right? If not, buy the M6 and a Smart for Mrs Frogman.


Are you in the process of replacing your Range Rover too?
 
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