Frontline Fun!

June 15th, 2011  

Topic: Frontline Fun!

Although combat is something to be taken seriously, sometimes situations arise where humor can help ease the pressure. Here are some of the situations I have experienced and heard of.

On a patrol in Iraq one of the guys is waking ahead of our APC. Suddenly the belt hits a mine and the guy in front is thrown away by the blast wave. Having assured that everyone in the vehicle is unharmed, we try to make contact with the soldier who was blown away. As the dust settles he comes forward somewhat shocked. His equipment in misalignment, the helmet is gone and he's completely covered with dust. All he comes up with is: how do I look? Am I ok? To which our lieutenant respond - you look like Bruce Willis on a bad hair day.

During a patrol in Afghanistan, someone take a shot at us. Luckily, we walk next to a stone wall and I jump straight over to get coverage. Behind me is one of our female soldiers, and since she is on her first patrol she doesn’t reacts as fast as the rest of us and the third man literally throw her over the fence with the result that she lands with her face in my crotch. I look down and look into two big scared blue eyes and I say: Tina darling! I love you too, but let’s save the blow job to our wedding night.

Radio Correspondence between our Company Commander and Platoon Leader.

PL: I need support to get TB out from the compound.
CC: I'm trying to get it to you.
PL: Roger
CC: Peter! I have an idea! If you take all your clothes off and run naked toward the TA while you grunt then when TA see your corpulent pink body they will think you're a wild pig and will immediately withdraw from the compound!

One of our squad leaders takes a shot on the inside of the thigh close to the man's private parts. He is being pulled to safety and our medic takes over. Fortunately, the shot only grazed him but clearly nervous about the possibly of damage to the *****, he asks the medic if he will check on whether his **** is unharmed. The medic checks, looks up and says with a worried voice - I'm not sure - what size is the body part I should look for?
June 15th, 2011  
Korean Seaboy
Wish you can post more....
June 15th, 2011  
Hilariously funny
Keeps morale up
June 15th, 2011  
My first engagement over seas was an RPG at about 300m. The guy was using a mud wall for cover. As the guy ducked back down we let lose with a 105mm HESH. The resulting hole in the wall was about 3 meters across and the vines in the grape field were cleared for about 50 meters back.

The big boss wasn't out with us that day, so the 2I/C was there in his place. No sooner had the dust settled, there was the 2I/C moving into the Gap I had created. We figured he was going to use it to breach the vineyard, but no! he stopped right in the gap. Our confusion grew as he popped up as surveyed the area around.

As he backed his tank out of the gap he stopped beside our tank and yelled out that we must have missed as he could find no body. We could hardly contain our laughter. They did later on find part of a foot, still wearing a flip flop as I recall.
June 16th, 2011  
One can say that; the ******* was not lacking responsiveness!

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