The day finally arrives; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the
Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and
Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have
heard
a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast
and we
have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is
short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It shor is good, to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody
ever
told me about any entrance exam. I shor hope that the Test ain't too hard,
life
was a big enough test, as it was."
St. Peter continued to say, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only
three
questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day, and
sees
St. Peter, who waves him up, and said, "Now that you have had a chance to
think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin
with
the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and
Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide, and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I
was thinking, but you do have a point and I guess I did not specify, so I
will
give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk, and thunk about that
and I guess the only answer can be twelve.
"Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? How in Heaven's name could
you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there has got to be twelve:
January 2nd,
February 2nd,
March 2nd
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this and I
see
your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind... but I will have
to
give you credit, for that one, too. Let us go on, with the third, and final
question.
Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure", Forrest replied, "it's Andy."
Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can
understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions,
but just how in the world, did you come up with the name Andy as the first
name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it
from the
song.
"ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
"ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
"ANDY TELLS ME, I AM HIS OWN. .
"St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."
Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and
Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have
heard
a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast
and we
have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is
short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It shor is good, to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody
ever
told me about any entrance exam. I shor hope that the Test ain't too hard,
life
was a big enough test, as it was."
St. Peter continued to say, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only
three
questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day, and
sees
St. Peter, who waves him up, and said, "Now that you have had a chance to
think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin
with
the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and
Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide, and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I
was thinking, but you do have a point and I guess I did not specify, so I
will
give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk, and thunk about that
and I guess the only answer can be twelve.
"Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? How in Heaven's name could
you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there has got to be twelve:
January 2nd,
February 2nd,
March 2nd
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this and I
see
your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind... but I will have
to
give you credit, for that one, too. Let us go on, with the third, and final
question.
Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure", Forrest replied, "it's Andy."
Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can
understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions,
but just how in the world, did you come up with the name Andy as the first
name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it
from the
song.
"ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
"ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
"ANDY TELLS ME, I AM HIS OWN. .
"St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."
