A Few Good Laughs

tomtom22

Chief Engineer
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"
Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?!!!

===========

Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said. "We may not have 45 minutes." They were seated immediately.

================

Three friends from the local congregation were asked "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say? "

Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a Fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I'm a teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."
Don said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"

==================

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, dear," he said. "Of course, John" his wife said softly.

"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.

With his last breath John said, "I do!"


:cool:
 
tomtom22 said:

---------------------------------------------------------------------

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, dear," he said. "Of course, John" his wife said softly.

"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.

With his last breath John said, "I do!"


:cool:

Ahh the joys of marriage!! :peace: :rock:
 
Back
Top