car crash

L

loki

Active member
A man is driving down a country road. His car breaks down. Looking under the bonnet he can't see whats wrong. He sees a stranger sitting on a high wall next to the road. The stranger tells him its the on-board computer that has crashed and how to reset it.

"Are you a mechanic", asks the driver. "No I live in the mental home on this side of the wall..." says the other, "although there's absolutely nothing wrong with me!" - "I can see that." says the driver - "You're a wizz with cars, I'll tell the authoroties you've been put in the mental home by mistake" - "Thanks a lot", the man on the wall says.

The driver gets in his car, starts off, and has gone a couple of yards when a huge brick smashes the back window. Looking round the driver sees the man on the wall has thrown the brick and is waving his arms as he calls out "You wont forget to tell them will you?"
 
Heres two more:

Three guy's were asked what they would like people to say about them when they were looking at them as they lay in their coffins after they had died.
the first guy said he would like people to say he was a good guy and a great mate, the second guy said he would like people to say he always did the right thing and he was a good guy, after a bit of thought the third guy said he would like people to say........ he's moving!!


A man was delivering some monkeys to Chester zoo, when his van broke down. he was standing at the side of the road wondering what to do when he saw a farmer approaching with an empty lorry. He flagged the farmer down and offered him £500 pounds to take the monkeys to the zoo. The farmer agreed and the monkeys were transferred to the farmer's lorry and off he went. A couple of hours later the man was still waiting for a breakdown vehicle to come when he saw the farmer coming back, still with the monkeys on board. He flagged the farmer down again and asked why he hadn't taken the monkeys to the zoo. "I did." said the farmer. "We had a great time and there is some money left over, so I'm taking them to Alton Towers."

(Alton tower's some kind of theme park in Britain...)
 
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