The Cannon Report




 
--
 
December 29th, 2004  
Charge 7
 
 

Topic: The Cannon Report


This was always the prime gag to pull on a newbie. It's related to "box of quadrants", "bubble pump", "Left handed monkey wrench" and other similar jests but this one had the advantage of sounding very real and important. You select your victim and tell him that so-and-so (best if somebody not in the immediate area but requires a long run to reach and should be on the gunline) has the "cannon report" and so-and-so (should be as far away as possible from the person first sent to thus ensuring another long run) needs to have it. This can go on for quite awhile. I went to the Chief of Smoke, the Gunnery Sergeant, the motors chief and finally the Battery Commander who took pity on me for the fun the XO had started. The Cannon Report is "BOOM!" that is the report or firing sound of a gun. I hope they still do this one. The uniform was the old "pickle suit" when I went through this rite of passage.
December 29th, 2004  
rotc boy
 
 
poor new guys
December 29th, 2004  
r031Button
 
 

Topic: Re: The Cannon Report


Quote:
Originally Posted by Charge_7
This was always the prime gag to pull on a newbie. It's related to "box of quadrants", "bubble pump", "Left handed monkey wrench" and other similar jests but this one had the advantage of sounding very real and important. You select your victim and tell him that so-and-so (best if somebody not in the immediate area but requires a long run to reach and should be on the gunline) has the "cannon report" and so-and-so (should be as far away as possible from the person first sent to thus ensuring another long run) needs to have it. This can go on for quite awhile. I went to the Chief of Smoke, the Gunnery Sergeant, the motors chief and finally the Battery Commander who took pity on me for the fun the XO had started. The Cannon Report is "BOOM!" that is the report or firing sound of a gun. I hope they still do this one. The uniform was the old "pickle suit" when I went through this rite of passage.
Sounds like what they did to me when I first joined up.
"Button get me some grid squares!"
"YES SEARGENT!"
"......button what are grid squares?"
"uhhh 1 squared KM on a map Seargent" this is when the cuckling starts
"so how can you grab one?" this is when the outright laughter starts up
"......Don't know Seargent"

And then there's the endless quest for the Carl G (84mm recoiless rifle)'s blank fireing attachment
--
December 29th, 2004  
Charge 7
 
 
Ah yes, but did they have you run the complete length and width of your unit area several times like they did me (and all the other victims)? Now that really adds to it I think.
December 29th, 2004  
rotc boy
 
 
this seems a little more mean than funny when it's happening to you
but for the rest of us, lmao
December 29th, 2004  
r031Button
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charge_7
Ah yes, but did they have you run the complete length and width of your unit area several times like they did me (and all the other victims)? Now that really adds to it I think.
I left out the 45 minutes spent stumbling around our biv in the dark looking for them :P
December 30th, 2004  
Charge 7
 
 
Never meant as mean rotc boy. Usually the one singled out is someone who can take a laugh at their expense and the few that don't need to learn how anyway. It makes getting through life alot easier if you can see humor in yourself as well as others. It's just harmless fun and the worst that happens to you is you get some good exercise.
May 25th, 2005  
soldierzhonor
 
 
Also gunbunnies have the good ol Boom Check. You get fresh meat to goto the breech and as loud as they can say it "BOOM!" That way you can see if the tube is leaking anywhere

go get me a One Delta Ten Tango (when you write it down it looks like IDIOT)

Chemlight batteries

lanyard grease

check air pressure in road wheels
May 25th, 2005  
Pete031
 
 
I like telling the New guys to fill up the vehicles with Blinker fluid.
And phoning other companies anonymously and telling whoever picks up that so and so wants to be seen by the RSM for work detail and to report to his office soonest
June 26th, 2005  
unblest
 
 
For those who have never heard of "Blackhawk Down", this may not seem like much. There was a character in the movie/book named CPT Steele. Well, currently he is a LTC, still in the army. He has never read the book or watched the movie. Refuses to do either.
At one time he was the batallion commander for 1-87 Inf out of Ft Drum. Whenever a new soldier joined the batallion, one of the older soldiers would give him a copy of the book and tell him to ask the colonel for his autograph.
Needless to say it ended with the soldier getting questioned (loudly) as to who put him up to the stunt.