The Buffalo Theory

[I3BrigPvSk]

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went: ​

'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.' ​

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not ​

 

[Yossarian]

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. ​

Here's how it went:​

'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.' ​

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not ​

It increases reaction time as well, you see,

Those five concrete poles, three mailboxes , and four patrol cars you ran over in your newly acquired Dump Truck last night,

Was in fact due to the reality that your brain was acting so efficiently, that while driving, you were reacting to obsticles many moments ahead of time....Regardless of what you were driving into during the present.