Blonde joke
Ok, good one... :wink:
This is another...
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
A vacuum cleaner would be too heavy...
BritinBritain
Per Ardua Ad Astra
A gorgeous blonde asks a man sitting on a packed train, "Excuse me sir I'm pregnant, would you mind if I took your seat?"
The chap got up and replied "Of course."
As he is standing he notices her hour glass and amazingly trim figure and asks her, "Excuse me, how far along are you?"
She looks at her watch and replies "About an hour and a half."
The chap got up and replied "Of course."
As he is standing he notices her hour glass and amazingly trim figure and asks her, "Excuse me, how far along are you?"
She looks at her watch and replies "About an hour and a half."
42RM
Banned
A blonde gets home early and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" she says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.
She rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as shs's dialing, her 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Sheila is hiding in your closet and she's got no clothes on!"
She slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past her screaming husband, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
You rotten bastard,"my husband is having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!
She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" she says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.
She rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as shs's dialing, her 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Sheila is hiding in your closet and she's got no clothes on!"
She slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past her screaming husband, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
You rotten bastard,"my husband is having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!
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Oh, I get it... blonde jokes... silly me...
Ok, I'm in...
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
Ok, I'm in...
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."