Shmack
Active member
This happened about 10 years ago at the strategic missle forces station in Altai (south-western Siberia). That station was coming under disbandment under the START treaty. One day the station was visited by the US inscpection group in order to make sure that all destroyed missiles were actually destroyed and that generals are not selling nuclear warheads to Taliban agents. The group consisted of several officers, and a couple of cits. This curious lady was one of them, it was her first time in Russia, not to speak of some military base. She always wondered 'why is that clam shovel nailed to a sh*thouse door', or 'why are soldiers painting grass', or 'why are all those leaves glued to trees' and so on...
So, the inspectors arrived at a separate station in the middle of a dense forest where the missiles used to serve before being destroyed. The station consisted of several silos, command post, several concrete bunkers and several electrified fences with several thousand volts. From time to time those fences were switched off in order to make it possible to collect animals' bodies who were not smart enough and tried to penetrate through them. Fences were pretty long, so the 'spring cleaning' took pretty long time. Anyway that time was limited, so there was no time for running to a command post to take a crap. That's why those bunkers, which were not used since Gorbachev, were pretty useful for soldiers.
Unfortunately for that lady one of those bunkers seemed kinda suspicious for her, so she decided to chek it out.. Who knows, maybe they've hidden a couple of missiles in there - she might thought. A few moments later she ran out of there crying with her face red and sandals smudged with something. Being disappointed by revealing something she was not intending to, she accused all those stunned russian generals of dirty (literally) provocations. The generals, being afraid of an international scandal gave a mad stare at an offcier of the guard, who had nothing to do but to reply calmly: "Well, you should understand, it's Siberia... you know... bears and stuff... "
So, the inspectors arrived at a separate station in the middle of a dense forest where the missiles used to serve before being destroyed. The station consisted of several silos, command post, several concrete bunkers and several electrified fences with several thousand volts. From time to time those fences were switched off in order to make it possible to collect animals' bodies who were not smart enough and tried to penetrate through them. Fences were pretty long, so the 'spring cleaning' took pretty long time. Anyway that time was limited, so there was no time for running to a command post to take a crap. That's why those bunkers, which were not used since Gorbachev, were pretty useful for soldiers.
Unfortunately for that lady one of those bunkers seemed kinda suspicious for her, so she decided to chek it out.. Who knows, maybe they've hidden a couple of missiles in there - she might thought. A few moments later she ran out of there crying with her face red and sandals smudged with something. Being disappointed by revealing something she was not intending to, she accused all those stunned russian generals of dirty (literally) provocations. The generals, being afraid of an international scandal gave a mad stare at an offcier of the guard, who had nothing to do but to reply calmly: "Well, you should understand, it's Siberia... you know... bears and stuff... "
