Well we got an office manager here at where I work with an authentic looking letter from a temperance preacher…the letter went something like this:
Dear Mr. (Name deleted)
I write this letter to explain the benevolence of our organization, and to make a personal request to you in our hour of need.
My Names Reverend Thomas B. Sketsal. I represent a group that brings comfort and Gods own word to the overlooked souls that are in the devils clutches of alcoholism and debauchery. Part of our temperance theme was demonstrating the evils of drink, in displaying our most unusual temperance subject, our dear Brother Allen.
Brother Allen represented all that we have strived to prevent in these sad parishioners for many years. Brother Allen is the product of many years of imbibing the evil alcohol and partaking of the rites of flesh our great country has been infested with for many years. Nightly, he would stay on the stage, staring at the crowds through blood shot eyes, his contorted face drooling in excess. His leering face would light up at the slightest hint of a shortened hemline. I confess, more people turned from alcohol and their sinful ways after viewing this wretched example than my words could possibly convey.
Recently, Brother Allen was taken from us after a long fight with the demons that took his life. During a recent conversation with friends in Oklahoma City, your name came up as a possible replacement for him. After viewing a picture of you in action, I’d say you more than meet our requirements as a living example of intemperance. Would you consider taking his place in our revival? Know that if you take this holy cause into your bosom, you will surely save countless thousands in our fight with this, our national disgrace.
Looking forward to meeting and working with you in our future endeavors.
Reverend Thomas B. Sketsal
The look on his face, to say the least, was worth it. :lol:
