Pacific Lure
Active member
A businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the afternoon with her for $500. So they do. Before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but that he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'
On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following typed note:
Dear Madam,
Enclosed, find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:
1) It had never been occupied;
2) That there was plenty of heat;
3) That is was small enough to make me cozy and at home.
However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:
Dear Sir:
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the landlady.
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton & Mexican President Ernesto Zedillo were at a summit dinner in France. The waiter asks "Le apperitive?"
All of them answer, "Oui!"
The waiter looks at Zedillo, "Le tequila?"
Zedillo: "Oui!"
The waiter looks at Yeltsin, "Le vodka?"
Yeltsin: "Oui!"
Finally, the waiter looks at Clinton, "Le whisky?"
Clinton: "DON'T MENTION THAT B**CH !!!"
On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following typed note:
Dear Madam,
Enclosed, find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:
1) It had never been occupied;
2) That there was plenty of heat;
3) That is was small enough to make me cozy and at home.
However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:
Dear Sir:
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the landlady.
FOOTBALL MOVES IN SEX
Hike = Up the rear
Reverse = 69
Sack = Girl takes control and gets frisky
2pt. conversion = multiple orgasms
Prevent Defense = Condom/protection
Face Mask = guy pulls girl head down to blow him
Shotgun = Touchdown in a car
Two minute warning = Guy gives the girl a warning before he blows his load.
Holding = Cuddling
Superbowl = Wedding or Prom night
Huddle = Multiple participants
Madden '99 = Cyber sex
Instant replay = When you tape the two of you having sex
Masturbation = Illegal use of the hands
Ball Hog = Slut
Onside Kick = Making up after a fight
Double Header = Two mates in the same night
Tight End = Virgin
Wide Receiver = Girl that's loose
False Start = Guy/Girl gets shut down (denied)
Pass Interference = Some stupid kid interrupts before you can get some.
Fumble = cheating (problem in the relationship)
Putting it through the uprights = self explanatory
Special Teams = Prostitute/Gigolo
Unsportsmanlike Conduct = Bragging to your friends about your activities
Double Coverage = Two condoms
Hike = Up the rear
Reverse = 69
Sack = Girl takes control and gets frisky
2pt. conversion = multiple orgasms
Prevent Defense = Condom/protection
Face Mask = guy pulls girl head down to blow him
Shotgun = Touchdown in a car
Two minute warning = Guy gives the girl a warning before he blows his load.
Holding = Cuddling
Superbowl = Wedding or Prom night
Huddle = Multiple participants
Madden '99 = Cyber sex
Instant replay = When you tape the two of you having sex
Masturbation = Illegal use of the hands
Ball Hog = Slut
Onside Kick = Making up after a fight
Double Header = Two mates in the same night
Tight End = Virgin
Wide Receiver = Girl that's loose
False Start = Guy/Girl gets shut down (denied)
Pass Interference = Some stupid kid interrupts before you can get some.
Fumble = cheating (problem in the relationship)
Putting it through the uprights = self explanatory
Special Teams = Prostitute/Gigolo
Unsportsmanlike Conduct = Bragging to your friends about your activities
Double Coverage = Two condoms
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton & Mexican President Ernesto Zedillo were at a summit dinner in France. The waiter asks "Le apperitive?"
All of them answer, "Oui!"
The waiter looks at Zedillo, "Le tequila?"
Zedillo: "Oui!"
The waiter looks at Yeltsin, "Le vodka?"
Yeltsin: "Oui!"
Finally, the waiter looks at Clinton, "Le whisky?"
Clinton: "DON'T MENTION THAT B**CH !!!"
