Anyone living with or knowing a Borderline person?

I have an inherited (Mother's side) anxiety, depression disorder. It only became debilitating about 10 years ago. I take Wellbutrin for anxiety, Klonopin for depression, and Lexapro for depression. Large doses of each balance out but have unpleasant side effects. Much better than spending the rest of your life in a fetal position in a closet. When I was ill, my Wife brought me books which I read and re-read compulsively. Sometimes, I would read a dictionary for hours and into days. Now, thanks to a cocktail of drugs in a mix and dosage that would kill normal people, I am functional and normal as long as I take them.

Be as kind as you can, with limits, to the mentally ill because I've been there and back. My Wife is a Saint because she could have left me but hung in there. I owe her as much as I owe my Doctors. Remember, mental illness, in my case, is like dying a different death every time you awaken. Now, looking back, I can't even imagine my ever being that sick.
 
Missileer said:
I have an inherited (Mother's side) anxiety, depression disorder. It only became debilitating about 10 years ago. I take Wellbutrin for anxiety, Klonopin for depression, and Lexapro for depression. Large doses of each balance out but have unpleasant side effects. Much better than spending the rest of your life in a fetal position in a closet. When I was ill, my Wife brought me books which I read and re-read compulsively. Sometimes, I would read a dictionary for hours and into days. Now, thanks to a cocktail of drugs in a mix and dosage that would kill normal people, I am functional and normal as long as I take them.

Be as kind as you can, with limits, to the mentally ill because I've been there and back. My Wife is a Saint because she could have left me but hung in there. I owe her as much as I owe my Doctors. Remember, mental illness, in my case, is like dying a different death every time you awaken. Now, looking back, I can't even imagine my ever being that sick.

I know how it is! Glad to hear that! *Hugs*

Keep going man! :)

And you have a really good wife.
 
And then there is mental illness caused by disease or accident as well. My brother had a brain aneurism. The doctor who performed the surgery completely :cen: it up. We're fighting the lawsuit now. My brother wound up having half his cerebelum removed and has great difficulty with motor control and short term memory, but his long term memory is unimpaired. Most amazingly of all is his attitude. He is, if anything, a warmer and more easy to get along with person than he was before. He takes his loss in stride and speaks about working to get better and he actually has gotten much better since the surgery. For seven months he was on a resperator and we thought we'd lose him. Now he gets around with the aid of a walker, but still has a great deal of difficulty swallowing. I despise the people who stare at him and turn their heads in disgust when I take him someplace. There but for the grace of God go any of us.
 
Charge_7 said:
And then there is mental illness caused by disease or accident as well. My brother had a brain aneurism. The doctor who performed the surgery completely :cen: it up. We're fighting the lawsuit now. My brother wound up having half his cerebelum removed and has great difficulty with motor control and short term memory, but his long term memory is unimpaired. Most amazingly of all is his attitude. He is, if anything, a warmer and more easy to get along with person than he was before. He takes his loss in stride and speaks about working to get better and he actually has gotten much better since the surgery. For seven months he was on a resperator and we thought we'd lose him. Now he gets around with the aid of a walker, but still has a great deal of difficulty swallowing. I despise the people who stare at him and turn their heads in disgust when I take him someplace. There but for the grace of God go any of us.


different kettle of fish compared to the last couple of posts but i have Attention defecit disorder (or at least used to) as do my dad, brother and sister. i was among the first diagnosed with it in NZ. seem to be growing out of it now but i still do dumb things! ;)
 
Charge_7 said:
And then there is mental illness caused by disease or accident as well. My brother had a brain aneurism. The doctor who performed the surgery completely :cen: it up. We're fighting the lawsuit now. My brother wound up having half his cerebelum removed and has great difficulty with motor control and short term memory, but his long term memory is unimpaired. Most amazingly of all is his attitude. He is, if anything, a warmer and more easy to get along with person than he was before. He takes his loss in stride and speaks about working to get better and he actually has gotten much better since the surgery. For seven months he was on a resperator and we thought we'd lose him. Now he gets around with the aid of a walker, but still has a great deal of difficulty swallowing. I despise the people who stare at him and turn their heads in disgust when I take him someplace. There but for the grace of God go any of us.

The brain is an amazing part of our bodies. It tells us who we are, how we are, and blesses us with memories. My prayers are with your Brother and he seems to have the pure tenacity and guts to beat this thing. To hell with those who have never had to go through for a minute what he suffers with every day.

Thanks very much SilverPhoenix, I appreciate it. As for Linda, my wife, I talked with her when I was pretty bad off about understanding if she put me in care and went on with life. It made her mad and sorry for me at the same time and she let me know pretty quick that she was with me for the long haul.
 
These are the times when your legacy as a parent hold true. As many of you noted the grit my dad showed when dealing with his war wounds in the thread I started about him, as I have been guided by that man's example, so too now is my brother. He remembers our dad's will as well. So be the best example you can be for your children. You never know how very powerful your actions can be in years to come.
 
my family to my mother's side seems to have a lot of problems like that.
My grandmother and my two aunts are constantly paranoid.
Especially my grandmother. Even when it's calling me out to eat, she talks like the world's going to end in 5 minutes.
My aunt ... she offered to translate this 1 page thing for me because she is an English - Korean professor at a university here. So I said fine, might as well right? If you got the expert at home. Well, it takes her 2 hours. And it's not even a full page. It's a LIST of stuff. Just how on earth can it take you 2 hours to translate A LIST??? That fits on ONE PAGE?? Sure her typing is really really bad (which is professional negligence I think for a professor) and even THEN how could it take 2 hours?? Something in her head must not be right.
Plus if she asks u to do something, she will repeat it 3 times while talking like she's going to die in the hands of a swarm of bees. She also claims she can talk to animals. Which is great because I can talk to the dead. (haha)
I'm staying at this grandmother's place and I can feel myself go even more nuts.
I pretty much was on my own for a whole year in the US. And that kinda screwed me up. Now this. Geez. I probably am a pretty normal person, just the sort of crap I gotta put up with....
 
SilverPhoenix said:
Marksman said:
ohh well,nothing to worry about,since my sister is studying psyhology at school,she says that those kind of ppl arnt dangerous if u dont bother them to much,or if u dont show authority

:shock:

Omg. "If you don't bother them to much?"

Now I really can't drop the subject. So I will let you in on the Borderline diagnose.

First of all, Take this test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

Then read this: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html

For your information: I can tell you all that this is a such a wide psychological term. Read thousands of books about it. No, it doesn't mean I cut myself. Never have never will. No, I don't OD. No, I don't do impulses. Most people think that Borderline is always the worse parts of the diagnose. For my part, it was more about "shutting" off feelings. It's not easy to explain. But I can assure you all that it's not just a stamp in your @ss that goes like: Borderline - Read diagnose.

Borderline can be caused by a trauma when you're a child. It can be caused when you're older. It can also be caused over not being accepted for you, and being pushed away and turned into a "outcast". There is so many reasons that the people who study the Borderline and the causes can't really determine why it happens.

For my sake: I'm soon to be free from the diagnose. I've worked my ass off to change from this major "teenager" b*tch to a complete woman.

I'm aware that not many people know how it is to be in a situation or what it comeplete feels like. But I do think I have the right to say:

You could have made the topic alot smoother.

Other from that, damn good discussion. ;)

Hey SilverPhoenix, let's talk about this.
I am perfectly aware what a personality disorder is all about. I have been living with a borderline person for years. It is being (it will be over in a month's time so I'm actually less stressed now) a terribly hard experience. Tell me what you will- I don't know whether your syndrome is the same as his, but one thing I know for sure: it is NOT normal.
In these years I have been learning how tremendously necessary drawing a line between normality and abnormality is.
It is vital when you are a normal person living with such a housemate.
I know for sure many psychotherapists refuse to treat borderline patients because they are manipulative.
I'll give you some examples of what it means: (like I said I DON'T know whether you do the same, but I doubt it)
He is narcisistic, histrionic, schizoid, paranoid, schizotypal, dependent, borderline and obsessive-compulsive.
He screams like hell night and day, he practises the so-called magical thinking, which means a lot of rituals that he feel the strong need to observe before doing things. He CAN'T go to sleep before 3:30 am (his bedroom next to mine so I hear his tv everynight until 33:0). He has to switch the lights of his room, of the foyer, and of the bathroom a different amounts of time before going to bed or doing something important. Same thing with the sink taps, and also at the same time. He often leaves his bedroom naked (specially when strangers are at home, like my girlfriend or friends). We're four guys in the house. He is totally covered with fungi so disgusting to see. He often runs from bathroom to bedroom naked at night more and more times, so that his magical thinking can be respected.
Everytime he leaves the house he has to knock at the door (from the outside) with his shoulders or is foot, all this a certain number of times in a row.
You can't tell him anything about that, like scolding him, because he is looking for that. He wants to be both praised and blamed (his motherfigure is the key, but I'll be short), so if you blame him he'll begin to cry out loud and apologizing for weeks, every moment of the day, and that will make prevent you from doing that again in the future.
He eats cheese and butter ONLY.
He is extremely dirty and messy, because of his magical committments towards what we call an omnipervasive spirit he can't throw nothing away. Absolutely nothing. At times the fridge stinks because of that.
And he screams at night, and he runs in the house. And it's not that cool when you are walking back home at night and see your houselights flashing ON and OFF from room to room like a Xmas Tree.
Live this way for years, and then tell me I could have made this topic smoother.
Oh did I tell you he locks himself up everynight and sleeps with a hammer under his bed?
 
Italian Guy said:
SilverPhoenix said:
Marksman said:
ohh well,nothing to worry about,since my sister is studying psyhology at school,she says that those kind of ppl arnt dangerous if u dont bother them to much,or if u dont show authority

:shock:

Omg. "If you don't bother them to much?"

Now I really can't drop the subject. So I will let you in on the Borderline diagnose.

First of all, Take this test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

Then read this: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html

For your information: I can tell you all that this is a such a wide psychological term. Read thousands of books about it. No, it doesn't mean I cut myself. Never have never will. No, I don't OD. No, I don't do impulses. Most people think that Borderline is always the worse parts of the diagnose. For my part, it was more about "shutting" off feelings. It's not easy to explain. But I can assure you all that it's not just a stamp in your @ss that goes like: Borderline - Read diagnose.

Borderline can be caused by a trauma when you're a child. It can be caused when you're older. It can also be caused over not being accepted for you, and being pushed away and turned into a "outcast". There is so many reasons that the people who study the Borderline and the causes can't really determine why it happens.

For my sake: I'm soon to be free from the diagnose. I've worked my ass off to change from this major "teenager" b*tch to a complete woman.

I'm aware that not many people know how it is to be in a situation or what it comeplete feels like. But I do think I have the right to say:

You could have made the topic alot smoother.

Other from that, damn good discussion. ;)

Hey SilverPhoenix, let's talk about this.
I am perfectly aware what a personality disorder is all about. I have been living with a borderline person for years. It is being (it will be over in a month's time so I'm actually less stressed now) a terribly hard experience. Tell me what you will- I don't know whether your syndrome is the same as his, but one thing I know for sure: it is NOT normal.
In these years I have been learning how tremendously necessary drawing a line between normality and abnormality is.
It is vital when you are a normal person living with such a housemate.
I know for sure many psychotherapists refuse to treat borderline patients because they are manipulative.
I'll give you some examples of what it means: (like I said I DON'T know whether you do the same, but I doubt it)
He is narcisistic, histrionic, schizoid, paranoid, schizotypal, dependent, borderline and obsessive-compulsive.
He screams like h**l night and day, he practises the so-called magical thinking, which means a lot of rituals that he feel the strong need to observe before doing things. He CAN'T go to sleep before 3:30 am (his bedroom next to mine so I hear his tv everynight until 33:0). He has to switch the lights of his room, of the foyer, and of the bathroom a different amounts of time before going to bed or doing something important. Same thing with the sink taps, and also at the same time. He often leaves his bedroom naked (specially when strangers are at home, like my girlfriend or friends). We're four guys in the house. He is totally covered with fungi so disgusting to see. He often runs from bathroom to bedroom naked at night more and more times, so that his magical thinking can be respected.
Everytime he leaves the house he has to knock at the door (from the outside) with his shoulders or is foot, all this a certain number of times in a row.
You can't tell him anything about that, like scolding him, because he is looking for that. He wants to be both praised and blamed (his motherfigure is the key, but I'll be short), so if you blame him he'll begin to cry out loud and apologizing for weeks, every moment of the day, and that will make prevent you from doing that again in the future.
He eats cheese and butter ONLY.
He is extremely dirty and messy, because of his magical committments towards what we call an omnipervasive spirit he can't throw nothing away. Absolutely nothing. At times the fridge stinks because of that.
And he screams at night, and he runs in the house. And it's not that cool when you are walking back home at night and see your houselights flashing ON and OFF from room to room like a Xmas Tree.
Live this way for years, and then tell me I could have made this topic smoother.
Oh did I tell you he locks himself up everynight and sleeps with a hammer under his bed?

It's easy to make a topic smoother then the headline it has. Yes, I have lived with borderline people for years. Both in a psychitatric hospital, and now 1½ at this treatment home.

Now, for your comment here:

I know for sure many psychotherapists refuse to treat borderline patients because they are manipulative.

Then they must have a low experience with BPD. Because I seriously believe there is help down there for BPD persons as well. I'm not going to jump on you here, but you're friend is not nearly as bad as those others I've seen. I've lived with people likes this since I was 17-18. If not even before that, because I've been in contact with the psychiatric hospital since I was 11. Now, for me that guy doesn't sound so bad. But picture living with people having this problem and you get to see this people getting strapped onto a bed and getting a injection with tranquilizers. To not to talk about the effort and shit the wardens have to stand with by just getting the person down on the bed.

But what I do can get annoyed in your text about, is that you make the different diagnosis part sound like it's average and common.

It's a wide term. Don't lay the discussion like every BPD person is manipulative. And as far as I'm concerned about this, I really think you should read a bit more about the diagnose before pointing out how BPD people are.

That's my two cents.

And it's not my intention to jump on your back here. But you miss out a great part of the whole disorder that I have had and other people suffer from.
 
Alright SilverPhoenix. I can't but agree. I mean I've read much about it.
I am perfectly aware that BPD is a wide term. And I'm awfully sorry if I somehow caused you offense. You know I didn't mean to.

My point here is the following:

It is different when you have the same problem (or similar) and you are in the hospital to be treated and cured by doctors and have to share your time with them.
I have no such problem. I am not being paid for this. I did not choose this. I have to study and graduate. I have to think about life, my girlfriend. When I go back home and I need to rest I have to face this. doctors... it's their job. They just go home and things. Me, well it's not a job, it's life.
Being a normal guy.
 
Italian Guy said:
Alright SilverPhoenix. I can't but agree. I mean I've read much about it.
I am perfectly aware that BPD is a wide term. And I'm awfully sorry if I somehow caused you offense. You know I didn't mean to.

My point here is the following:

It is different when you have the same problem (or similar) and you are in the hospital to be treated and cured by doctors and have to share your time with them.
I have no such problem. I am not being paid for this. I did not choose this. I have to study and graduate. I have to think about life, my girlfriend. When I go back home and I need to rest I have to face this. doctors... it's their job. They just go home and things. Me, well it's not a job, it's life.
Being a normal guy.

Yeah I know. And it can't be easy on you. But I don't get payed to live with these biatches either. ;)
 
Missileer said:
Italian Guy,
This guy sounds like the reincarnation of Howard Hughs.


:lol: :lol: :lol: LMAO :lol: :lol: Yeah you bet! Moving out pretty soon though. I don't care too much now. It's just been hard for me living with him for years.
 
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