Is America Getting Ruder?

[Missileer]

I read some postings on this forum. I know the statistics look bad but I wonder if anyone has noticed this? You younger members, do you feel that you miss out on the "basics" of manners sometimes? I know the generation I grew up in were extreme at times in teaching manners to their kids. This was on America but if any members from other countries would like to comment either on America or your own country concerning this matter, feel free to do so without flaming of course.

http://community.netscape.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?nav=messages&tid=203159&webtag=ws-newsforum

Americans Getting Ruder

People are ruder today than they were 20 or 30 years ago. A new opinion poll blames it on "fast-paced, high-tech" lifestyle. Do you agree that Americans are getting ruder? What kind of rudeness have you encountered recently?

Almost 70 percent of Americans say people are ruder today compared to 20 to 30 years ago, a new AP-Ipsos poll found. It's worse in cities, where 74 percent cite rudeness and bad manners, than in rural areas, where just 67 percent report the same.

Cell phones, road rage and other factors "lead to a world with more stress, more chances for people to be rude to each other," Peter Post, a descendant of etiquette guru Emily Post, told The Associated Press.

Single parenthood leaves little time to teach kids manners, and parents who grew up in the 1960s and the 1970s do not stress the importance of manners, lifestyle and etiquette experts told AP.

In the poll, 93 percent of Americans blame parents for not teaching their children about manners. But few admit their own rude behavior. Only 13 percent said they have flipped the finger while driving, and 8 percent said they had loud cell phone conversations in public.

The telephone survey of 1,001 adults were conducted August 22-23. A sample of this size frequently have a error margin of plus or minus three percentage points.

Do you agree that Americans are getting ruder? What kind of rudeness have you encountered recently?

 

[ghost457]

yeah, I would say that America is getting ruder. although, a lot of times the "rudeness level" changes based on where you are, and especially on how much money a certain group are. some people are still just as kind and polite as people were 20 years ago, some people are butt heads, instead of everyone being polite and kind, now theres some kind people, a lot of rude people, and a bunch of people in the middle.

 

[Missileer]

yeah, I would say that America is getting ruder. although, a lot of times the "rudeness level" changes based on where you are, and especially on how much money a certain group are. some people are still just as kind and polite as people were 20 years ago, some people are butt heads, instead of everyone being polite and kind, now theres some kind people, a lot of rude people, and a bunch of people in the middle.

ghost, did you read some of the answers on the website I posted? Do you guys (generation) think we guys (1950s/60s) failed in teaching manners? I like to think I taught by example.

 

[Whispering Death]

I think some of what can be considered 'rudeness' is just being blunt. Many in my generation just don't like acting "fake". Gladhanding PR people are like the most soulless thing you can become as a humanbeing, just a mush of false kindness which hides a manipulative agenda.

That kind of mindset.

 

[Missileer]

I think some of what can be considered 'rudeness' is just being blunt. Many in my generation just don't like acting "fake". Gladhanding PR people are like the most soulless thing you can become as a humanbeing, just a mush of false kindness which hides a manipulative agenda.

That kind of mindset.

There's always going to be that sort of people that you will have to just ignore. A lot of organized religious leaders come to mind. But are there people that you meet and realize that they are the real thing and don't want to offend them? That's a form of good manners.

 

[ironhorseredleg]

Missileer, how did you teach kids to type polite replies into forums?

I know folks I taught with who believed that students who used abbreviated language in chatrooms were just plain rude because they didn't type in complete, grammatically correct sentences.

I had a professor in college who would delete emails unanswered if they didn't have a salutation, a fairwell, and complete, grammatically acceptable sentences. I'd say his response was much ruder than the actions of his students.

My experience has been that WD'd perceptions of rude vs. blunt is pretty accurate with today's "younger" generation. I know sometimes my "maturity" comes through my posts and is perceived as rudeness by younger posters. I don't think either generation is ruder than the other; we just communicate differently and don't always understand the other generation's intent.

 

[Missileer]

My experience has been that WD'd perceptions of rude vs. blunt is pretty accurate with today's "younger" generation. I know sometimes my "maturity" comes through my posts and is perceived as rudeness by younger posters. I don't think either generation is ruder than the other; we just communicate differently and don't always understand the other generation's intent.

Is there a social line where one side is universally accepted as rude and the other side is acceptable behavior like one would like to think their children are. I remember some, don't butt into a conversation, say please and thank you, may I, yessir/ma'am, Mister, Mrs., Miss. Was this just generational or should it be a social norm today. I don't necessarily mean on an open forum like this. Here, you are supposed to post and answer truthfully, even if it is something someone else doesn't care to hear. That's honesty.

 

[Whispering Death]

I think some of what can be considered 'rudeness' is just being blunt. Many in my generation just don't like acting "fake". Gladhanding PR people are like the most soulless thing you can become as a humanbeing, just a mush of false kindness which hides a manipulative agenda.

That kind of mindset.

There's always going to be that sort of people that you will have to just ignore. A lot of organized religious leaders come to mind. But are there people that you meet and realize that they are the real thing and don't want to offend them? That's a form of good manners.

I do not attack anyone personally unless there is some kind of personal animosity between us. For example, when people ask me to speak seriously about president Bush I will levy many citicism but I won't attack him personally. That is what I think is the difference between truthful speaking and rudeness.

On your other post, I guess you would call me a polite person. I hold doors open for people and am very respectful of those that have power over me (bosses, professors, etc.). I also go out of my way to thank people when they compliament me because I rarely accept compliaments, usually I counter by informing them of a fault they overlooked.

 

[ironhorseredleg]

You've got to keep in mind that while I learned my manners being seen and not heard around a family table for breakfast and supper, many of today's youth learn their manners in public forums like this. While I constantly have to unlearn basic politeness and learn to be "blunt," they will have to unlearn blunt honesty to fit into polite society. Most of them simply won't see the need.

 

[Missileer]

I've deleted my share of resume' s and used the line, "well, it's been very nice to have had the pleasure of meeting you" and passed the interviewee on to the HR representative. I never do this if I see in front of me, a well spoken, polite, pleasant person who fits the requirements of the position. That person is always sent to the next interviewer with my recommendation of having a high potential to fill the position. I don't have to elaborate on the type of person who doesn't earn that level of commendation from me.

I remember the words of a building contractor I worked for during Summer breaks. I carried cinder or haydite blocks to the masons and cleaned up the broken pieces. This old man had been a mason his whole working life. One time, I saw him talking to a fellow who was telling him about all the work he had done and how he was a class A mason. The gruff old man said " you be here at six in the morning, I know a mason when I see him pick up a trowel." The man wasn't there the next day and someone mentioned it to the boss who said that he wasn't surprised.

How you present yourself to a potential employer, like it or not, has more to do with what type of job you land than educational background. After that, your demeaner and interaction with your peers and superiors is scrutinized for 90 days before your position is permanent. Acceptable behavior does not include being confrontational or threatening to another employee. It usually takes two spoken and one written warning and you're history.