1) A little boy was standing in front of a mirror in the restroom at John F. Kennedy Airport, when in walked a Marine staff sergeant, dressed in his dress blues. The little boy turned to the Marine and said, "Wow! Are you a Marine?"
The Marine replied, "Why, yes I am, young man. Would you like to wear my hat?"
"Boy, would I!," said the little boy. He took the hat and placed it on his head and turned to admire himself in the mirror.
As he was looking in the mirror, he heard the door open and through a ray of bright light, a man entered the room. But, this was not just a man -- he was more than a man. He was an Airborne Ranger.
The little boy turned and went over to the soldier. As he approached him, he could see the reflection in his boots. His eyes widened as he stared up at the soldier's chest full of medals and combat ribbons. He tried to speak, but he couldn't. Finally, he took a deep breath, and managed to say, "Excuse me, Sir. Are you an Airborne Ranger?"
The Ranger replied with a thunderous voice, "Why yes, I am!! Would you like to shine my boots?"
The little boy smiled, and said, "Oh, no sir!! I'm not a Marine. I'm just wearing his hat!
2) Just to not make to many threads I wil post the ones I think aren't here in this thread.
The Company Commander and the First Sergeant were in the field. As they hit the sack for the night, the First Sergeant said, "Sir, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
The CO said, "I see millions of stars."
1st Sgt.: "And what does that tell you, sir?"
CO: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Top?"
1st Sgt.: "Well sir, it tells me that somebody stole our tent."
3) The colonel had distinguished himself in combat, but unfortunately he was wounded -- both of his ears were blown off. As a decorated hero, however, the Army allowed him to remain on active duty.
One day, the colonel was part in charge of a selection board to determine whether or not potential E-7s would become First Sergeants.
The next day he had set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to and was very interesting. At the end of the interview, the colonel asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" And the soldier answered, "Why yes sir, I couldn't help but notice you have no ears."
The colonel got very angry and threw him out.
The second interview was with a female, and she was even better than the first guy. He asked her the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?" and she replied: "Well, sir, you have no ears."
The colonel again was upset and tossed her out.
The third and last interview was the best of all three. It was with a sharp soldier with an immaculate uniform. He was smart. He was rugged and no-nonsense and he seemed to be a better soldier than the first two put together. The colonel was anxious, but went ahead and asked the soldier the same question:
"Do you notice anything different about me?" And to his surprise, the soldier answered: "Yes sir. You wear contact lenses." The colonel was shocked, and said, "What an incredibly observant young man. How in the world did you know that?"
The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty damn hard to wear glasses with no friggin ears!"
The Marine replied, "Why, yes I am, young man. Would you like to wear my hat?"
"Boy, would I!," said the little boy. He took the hat and placed it on his head and turned to admire himself in the mirror.
As he was looking in the mirror, he heard the door open and through a ray of bright light, a man entered the room. But, this was not just a man -- he was more than a man. He was an Airborne Ranger.
The little boy turned and went over to the soldier. As he approached him, he could see the reflection in his boots. His eyes widened as he stared up at the soldier's chest full of medals and combat ribbons. He tried to speak, but he couldn't. Finally, he took a deep breath, and managed to say, "Excuse me, Sir. Are you an Airborne Ranger?"
The Ranger replied with a thunderous voice, "Why yes, I am!! Would you like to shine my boots?"
The little boy smiled, and said, "Oh, no sir!! I'm not a Marine. I'm just wearing his hat!
2) Just to not make to many threads I wil post the ones I think aren't here in this thread.
The Company Commander and the First Sergeant were in the field. As they hit the sack for the night, the First Sergeant said, "Sir, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
The CO said, "I see millions of stars."
1st Sgt.: "And what does that tell you, sir?"
CO: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Top?"
1st Sgt.: "Well sir, it tells me that somebody stole our tent."
3) The colonel had distinguished himself in combat, but unfortunately he was wounded -- both of his ears were blown off. As a decorated hero, however, the Army allowed him to remain on active duty.
One day, the colonel was part in charge of a selection board to determine whether or not potential E-7s would become First Sergeants.
The next day he had set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to and was very interesting. At the end of the interview, the colonel asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" And the soldier answered, "Why yes sir, I couldn't help but notice you have no ears."
The colonel got very angry and threw him out.
The second interview was with a female, and she was even better than the first guy. He asked her the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?" and she replied: "Well, sir, you have no ears."
The colonel again was upset and tossed her out.
The third and last interview was the best of all three. It was with a sharp soldier with an immaculate uniform. He was smart. He was rugged and no-nonsense and he seemed to be a better soldier than the first two put together. The colonel was anxious, but went ahead and asked the soldier the same question:
"Do you notice anything different about me?" And to his surprise, the soldier answered: "Yes sir. You wear contact lenses." The colonel was shocked, and said, "What an incredibly observant young man. How in the world did you know that?"
The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty damn hard to wear glasses with no friggin ears!"
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