7 Ways To Become A Great Forum Troll

DTop

DTop

Active member
There are some very important components to being a great forum troll and you must embody them all if you want to be truly effective.
  1. It's very important to be a poor speller. I can't stress this one enough. It's against the troll code of conduct to spell words correctly, so proper spelling will give you away as a wannabe very quickly.
  2. You must be creative with profanity. It's not enough to use profanity, you need to be able to use it in new and exciting ways. Sure, you might get a reaction if you call someone a mother somethingorother, but you'll get a much stronger reaction if you specify just whose mother that person has been somethingorothering.
  3. TYPE IN ALL CAPS. I DON'T THINK I NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS ONE, DO I?
  4. Accuse the other person of being BLEEP . When you get into a war of words with someone, odds are they will win it. Why do I say that? Because most trolls are mental midgets and you're a troll, right? So, you'll need a back up plan for when you lose an argument, and few things will do more damage than accusing a complete stranger of being BLEEP. Of course the other person will be humiliated that you've somehow deduced the sexual orientation he's kept hidden from family and friends for all these years and he'll likely be so ashamed that he'll never show his face on the site again. Or maybe not, but it's free to try, right?
  5. Don't let facts get in the way of a good opinion. This is a biggie for a good troll. Go right ahead and state whatever is on your mind and when confronted with evidence to the contrary, stand your ground. Question the other person's sources, as in, "Hillary WHO?", and when the source can't be questioned, question the context, as in, "sure, but does it list how often he stutters during all speeches, or just after State of the Union addresses?"
  6. When in doubt, threaten physical violence. This one will really show them. Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of others like being threatened by some faceless name on a computer screen. Sure, you're a scrawny, 120 pound geek sitting in front of his computer wearing three day old underwear, but tell someone you're going to kick his butt and everyone will think you're 7 foot tall and bullet proof. All the other people on the forum will instantly become afraid of you and no one will ever dare disagree with you again.
  7. Your head must be up your rear end. This is not negotiable, all trolls have their heads up there, without exception.
These are the most important components of being a great forum troll, but explore a little and see how many new ideas you can come up with. You're only limited by your imagination, profanity filters and, in certain cases, law enforcement agencies, so have at it.
If you're looking for real world examples, odds are that a few will show up in the replies to this post.
 
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