52 Reasons To Have A Beer Over A Woman

52 Reasons To Have A Beer Over A Woman
May 11th, 2007  
Team Infidel

Topic: 52 Reasons To Have A Beer Over A Woman

52 Reasons To Have A Beer Over A Woman

1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.

2. Beer stains wash out.

3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.

4. Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play football.

5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

6. Beer is never late.

7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

8. Hangovers go away.

9. Beer labels come off without a fight.

10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.

11. Beer never has a headache.

12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.

13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer.

14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.

15. A beer always goes down easy.

16. You can have more than one beer in a night, and not feel guilty.

17. You can share a beer with your friends.

18. You always know when you're the first one to pop a beer.

19. Beer is always wet.

20. Beer doesn't demand equality.

21. You can have a beer in public.

22. A beer doesn't care when you come.

23. A frigid beer is a good beer.

24. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony.

25. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

26. You can't catch social diseases from a beer.

27. When you're interrupted by a beer, it's for a good reason.

28. A beer is always satisfying.

29. A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.

30. A beer won't tell you it's pregnant for fun.

31. A beer doesn't have in-laws.

32. No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.

33. To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.

34. All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.

35. Beer doesn't complain about farting.

36. The only thing a beer tells you is when it's time to go to the bathroom.

37. You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.

38. It's okay to leave a party with a different beer than you arrived with.

39. Beer won't drive you to drink.

40. You can shoot a beer.

41. A beer chaser is easy to catch.

42. You don't need a license to live with a beer.

43. A tree is good enough for a beer.

44. Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.

45. Beer doesn't care how much you earn.

46. Beer and Ice don't mix.

47. Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation.

48. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.

49. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.

50. You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.

51. Beer never complains about the wet spot.

52. You can put all your old beers in one room, and they won't fight.
May 11th, 2007  
man i dont know whats great about beer yet
May 11th, 2007  
Pacific Lure

Topic: Ahem........(clear throat here)....

Dedicated to Team Infidel........

GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

LOW BLOWS: Let's say a man and a woman are watching a boxing match on TV. One of the boxers is felled by a low blow. The woman says, "Oh, gee. That must have hurt." The man groans and doubles over, and actually FEELS the pain.

LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."
THE WEDDING: When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the ceremony". Men talk about "the bachelor party".

ADMITTING MISTAKES: Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted he was wrong was General George Custer.

PLANTS: A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five or six days later to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.

TIME: When a woman says she'll be ready to go out in five more minutes, she's using the same meaning of time as when a man says the football game's just got five minutes left. Neither of them is counting time outs, commercials, or replays.

Q: How can you tell if a man is dead?
A: He is finally hard, and there are no skid marks in his underwear.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just one - men will screw anything.

Q: When do a man's clothes match?
A: When the undertaker dresses him.

Q: How is a box of Raisin Bran cereal like a man?
A: It is filled with flakes and fruits.

Q: How can you tell if a man is really thinking?
A: He scratches his balls.

Q: How can you tell if a man is anxious in bed?
A: When he starts flipping the TV channels quickly.
52 Reasons To Have A Beer Over A Woman
May 11th, 2007  
haha..good one pacific
May 6th, 2009  

May 6th, 2009  
May 6th, 2009  
Both are good.

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