5 reasons why u should date ur GF's mom

5 reasons why u should date ur GF's mom
January 27th, 2007  

Topic: 5 reasons why u should date ur GF's mom

5 reasons why u should date ur GF's mom
Did you ever argue with your girlfriend before? Over small stupid things such as "are you seeing that ***** again?" or "why did you kick my dog in the face?" I have, and let me tell you, if you argued with her once, you are going to argue with her again. That leads to incomplete satisfaction. There are numerous examples there of unhappy people who wish their boyfriend/girlfriend was perfect. And what is that you should strive for in a relationship? Complete happiness and satisfaction. "That's impossible Andrew, no one has a relationship like that." Impossible eh? Well i have found yet another solution to your relationship problems. No no, let me be modest, i am not that good.Before we do so, think about the people in your life. Is there anyone you believe that has a lot of experience, looks like your girlfriend, knows the answers to life, does the dishes without a complaint, can drive and probably has a car? Well, if there ever was someone like that, you should be dating her pronto. "Um, i don't know anyone like that." Well you do, you just never considered her, cause you automatically canceled her as an option. Who? The person who gave birth to your girlfriend. Yup, her mother. Before you go "EWWW GROSS" listen to me, and you will realize i am totally right.

1. She has a lot of experience.
What do I mean by experience? Well, part of it would be the fact she finished high school and college before you were even born. Petty high school dramas? Done that. College freshman year? Survived. Over 500 hours of some drama? Finished. And guess what? Where do your girlfriends go to get advice on how to deal with you? No, not their friends, they only tell their friends about the awful mistakes you make, not seek their advice. No, not the school counselor, who doesn't want you to get into the best college. So who then? Her mom. They go to their mothers on how to deal with YOU!

Girl: Mom! My boyfriend cheated on me again! But he is so sexy and charming, I feel like I am going to forgive him if he saids sorry!
Mom: WHAT! Ok ok, here is what we are going to do. Remember that skirt I told you never to wear in public? Wear it tomorrow. And shave your legs. And flirt with all your boyfriend's friends. And a high school teacher you think is hot. That should teach him a lesson.
Girl: *tears in her eyes* You're the best mom! I can always count on you!

See? Am i right or am i right? So.. why date a girl who doesn't know how to deal with your problems, when you can go out with the mother, who knows all the answers, and probably went through about every issue a common relationship goes through.

2. Nothing like a mother's love.
Picture this. You are sick with cooties from your girlfriend. You have a horrible headache, you are constantly drooling, mucus and boogers are building up in your mouth and nose. Disgusting right? You stay home from school, and guess who comes to visit? Your girlfriend. Your heart instantly jumps "Omgosh, she cares so much for me. She is here to take care of me." She takes one look at your atrocious face and does not dare take a step closer. She saids "Oh i hope you feel better" and blows you a kiss. So as she leaves, you sit there, drooling, as you sneeze into your bed covers, covering it with crap, sad as Spongebob when he lost Gary.

NOW! Picture this new scenario. It is exactly the same as above, except the fact you are now going out with your girlfriend's mom. She comes to visit you as soon as she hears you sick. She takes one look at your ugly face, and runs forward with an anti-germ killer napkin and wipes you down. She brings a icy hot pack and puts it on your head. On top of that, she brings some chicken soup, and reads you a story.

Now, guys, tell me...who would you rather go out with.. still not convince? listen to my own experience.
Ok, one time, i got into a fight with 46 black guys and 3 Mexicans. I was able to defeat most of them, and the rest ran away. I was on the ground, bleeding from the mouth. I looked so bad ass. My girlfriend was next to me, crying, telling me how worried and scared she was. Inside my head i just thought ," um how is crying and putting me down going to help in a situation like this?" If i was going out with her mom, it would have been totally different. She would have grabbed each kid by the ear and made sure they got suspended. And then she would kiss each of my boo boos and give me a lecture on why i shouldn't fight. Having taught my lesson, i would never have fought again.

3. She can cook.
You know, every time i go on a date with my girlfriend, we eat out at some restaurant. And guess who ends up paying? Yes, the guy. And sorry to tell you, i am not some money tree. There were so many times where i just wanted to tell her... can we just stay home and eat? I have the sanctity of my home as well as a nice cooked meal where i am able to eat comfortably without 30 other people 5 feet away from me. Why isn't this possible? My girlfriend can't cook. HOW INSANE IS THAT!? A girl that can't cook. I sometimes really question why i go out with her. If i was going out with her mom, i would have a nice home made meal everyday without costing me a penny. And guess what? I can have a variety because we all know moms can make everything. From kimchi gook to top sirloin steak to pad thai. Too bad perfection is not a luxury i can afford.

4. She will care about real things.
Don't you have those girlfriends where they care about the most stupidest things? For example, if they don't get commented back on myspace they will actually go to that person's myspace and be like .."hey.. um .. are you there? you didn't comment back." or "hey.. just saying hi." OK! ALL the comments i see on myspace is "hey wasup how are you doing" reply: "i'm doing good you?" .. and after a week or so, this cycle is repeated. And girls become **** about this! Can i ask why? Why do you need so many comments? WHY does it make you happy if you have 3000 comments? It's not a contest. Other things girls care about but shouldn't is their weight. Ok... Do you know how many times i hear a girl say " Omg i am so fat, i hate my life." when they weigh like 60 pounds? AND WHAT ARE WE GUYS SUPPOSE TO ANSWER TO THAT? If i answer "no your not fat, don't say that." they say, "your a liar, i am fat." and walk away. If you say "you are fat." they cry and tell everyone your a jerk. AND if we stay completely silent, they say ," you think i am fat don't you!" and walk away. WE CAN NEVER WIN!

You see, if i was going out with my girlfriend's mom, she would be way more realistic. For example, you have a date with her and you meet up with her at a nice restaurant. In the middle of the meal, she will take out her datebook and record that day's spendings to make sure is stays within budget. Isn't that sensible? And also, she will ask questions such as "are you comfortable" and "are you cold? need my jacket?" My girlfriend would ask "should i eat this? it might make me fat" or "why aren't you saying anything? you don't like me do you?" Well i am sorry to say, "don't bother me, i'm eating."

5. She knows everything.
When i have a conversation with my girlfriend it goes like this.

Me: Ah ..omg.. i had a freaking horrible day, my grades dropped, i got picked on in chess club, i lost my car/house keys, a dog bit me in the butt, my pinky nail broke from scratching a lottery card. And i am in a fight with all my friends.
My girlfriend: Omgosh! that is so sad.. but i honestly don't know how to help you. i am so sorry.. i am more of a listening type of person.. not a helping person.
*i hear her typing .. she is on aim probably..
Me: oh.. it's ok.. i didn't expect you to help me anyways..Oh are you on AIM?
Her: yea i am but don't worry. i am still paying attention to what you are saying. i can multitask
Me: Oh really? That's good.. at least i am getting some of your attention while i am broken down and sad and have no friends.

Please tell me this happened to you before. You are spilling everything to a girl, and she is so overwhelmed she has no idea how to help you. And you trick yourself into thinking you are content because there was someone there to listen to you. Let me tell you right now, that is not enough. Anyone can listen to you, even yourself and a mirror. What you need is someone who knows everything and gives you quick smart answers. And how does a mom come in handy? Well first off, when she listens to you, she will LISTEN to you. For example, you are driving with her in a car, and you tell her you have something important to say. She will steer the car off road and into a ditch so you can have complete silence and her attention as you talk. She will stare into your eyes, seriously, watching your every move. And after your finished talking, she will leave a dramatic pause to let your words hang in the air. She will collect all her thoughts to come up with a simple solution that will leave you happy and satisfied.

OK! There are my 5 points, but obviously there are many more. You see.. one of the pluses i slightly mentioned was that she would look like your girlfriend! SO it will be a very easy transition when you tell your girlfriend why you would rather go out with her mom. And also, if you have any other reasons why going out with your girlfriend's mom is a better idea please contribute! That's for the girls as well!
January 27th, 2007  
Oh that's just wrong. LOL
January 27th, 2007  
Team Infidel
those are good explanations.. MILF!!!
5 reasons why u should date ur GF's mom
January 29th, 2007  
Interesting argument you've got there...

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