45 Best reasons to Re-enlist

August 30th, 2004  

Topic: 45 Best reasons to Re-enlist

All in good fun now.

1. Yesterday sucked, today sucked, tomorrow is going to suck, and this

seems to be a pretty solid forecast for the rest of my enlistment.

2. Spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year training

for something that there is a 99.9% chance that we will never do.

3. WWWDWOA? (what would we do without acronyms?)

4. Taking simple daily tasks and breaking them down into nuclear

physics before doing them.

5. Having to attend a brief prior to carrying out any task more

complicated than picking my nose.

6. Being a personal servant (that's basically all I am) to any one of

the 300 thousand people in the air force who out-rank me.

7. Being an adult and having somebody inspecting me everyday to make

sure I put my clothes on properly, and put my shoes on the right feet.

8. Having to wear a "cover" or hat, every time I want to go outside.

9. I love cleaning the same places over and over and over until either

the paint comes off or my hands are bleeding.

10. Without the air force's influence and good teaching, I would never

have realized that you can sweep water with a broom for hours.

11. There just isn't that many jobs out there where you can rest

assured that everyone you work for is just waiting to screw you over

any way they possibly can.

12. Even though we can deploy and be in Mogadishu within 48 hours it

takes finance 3 weeks to fix your paycheck when the computer randomly

selects you to get Airman Basic pay.

13. Getting to pick out my clothes whenever I'm not at work.

14. Getting to eat meat that comes in boxes labeled "not fit for

human consumption" and "for institutional use only."

15. Getting "random" drug tests every couple of weeks. Not

many people can testify to taking about 50 drug tests in the past two

years without having ever been caught doing drugs in my life.

16. Waking up every morning and going to "staff meeting" where a piece

of paper is read to me even though it is posted on the wall and on the

offices internet, both of which I have access to. I guess I can't


17. Going to medical complaining of severe heart and chest pain and

being told to come back during "sick-call" the next day.

18. I love the fact that my opinion has about as much influence as my

sister's pet iguana's.

19. Ever try and put in your 30 days notice?

20. You do not have to respect the person, you have to respect what

they wear on their collar or sleeve.

21. No matter how many water safety briefings I get they'll still send me
to the desert.

22. I hate good food.

23. I love the "you are U.S. ambassadors" speech.

24. I hate spending time with my family.

25. Not only getting to do my own job, but getting stuck with as many

additional duties as my chain of command wants to give me.

26. Having to change your computer password every two weeks to keep

terrorists from hacking into my e-mail and stealing all of these jokes.

27. When you get out you will only be 38-40. You still have your

entire life ahead of you. Yeah, okay, I want my life to start at 38.

28. For the last time! Would someone please tell me where the local
area ends?

29. Oh, look...There's the boss. We better all stand at attention

until he tells us we can move. Do they do that in the civilian world


30. Is that local time or Zulu?

31. I want to work somewhere that has total control of my paycheck so

that they can take half if I don't pay my bills.

32. If I get in trouble out in town I would like to get woken up the

next day at 6 am and have to stand in front of my boss, manager,

assistant manager, and anyone else who has nothing better to do so that

they can all chew my ass.

33. Can we be tested to make sure we are physically-fit every year

only please make exceptions to this for enormously fat 30+ year old

Senior NCO.

34. Where else can you pay taxes to pay your own paycheck?

35. You take an oath to support and defend the Constitution, and after

that the Constitution doesn't even apply to you.

36. Because only during magic shows and air force working hours are

the rules of logic suspended.

37. Because no-matter how stupid you are, you will eventually get

promoted by accumulating points from not getting promoted.

38. Where else can you get given shots by people who claim to practice

medicine that didn't even graduate from high school?

39. Where else can you get your teeth drilled and &&!%ed up by those same
people even though you've never had a cavity?

40. Because if you've had enough military bull#@#! for one lifetime

and you want to quit, you can rest assured that the air force will do

everything it can to make that impossible.

41. Because it's fun to go to medical to get your eyes checked out and

have the tech point a light in your eye for ten minutes until you are

blind and then to hear them say, "that was cool, let's try the other


42. Why did our parents even bother giving us first names?

43. IN what other job can you do things NOT the RIGHT WAY, but the AIR


44. Sitting around twiddling my thumbs all day long until about

4:00pm, even though I finished all of my work by ten in the morning is

really fun to do every #*!#ING DAY...it builds character.

45. Who really wants to have any control over their life anyway?
August 30th, 2004  
That was pretty good it got a chuckle or 2 out of me.
September 3rd, 2004  
I like those. Some of them are quite true.
September 9th, 2004  
What you mean only some of them are true
That was brillian mate cheers for that

October 7th, 2004  
all i can say is bravo
October 14th, 2004  
Oh SPIT that was good!!!!!! I was almost rolling on the floor. Keep things like that coming.
January 17th, 2007  
April 14th, 2007  
Team Infidel
those are always good for a chuckle