Charge 7
Master Gunner
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on
and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "For sexual favors"
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
10. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
11. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day
12. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won!, I won!"
13. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
"Run for your lives!! They're loose!!"
14. Tell your children over dinner - "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity......
15. Send this list to someone to make them smile. It's called therapy...
and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "For sexual favors"
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
10. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
11. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day
12. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won!, I won!"
13. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
"Run for your lives!! They're loose!!"
14. Tell your children over dinner - "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity......
15. Send this list to someone to make them smile. It's called therapy...
