10 Totally Bizarre Sex Laws

Team Infidel

Forum Spin Doctor
Laws are supposed to protects us, but when the government decides to get in our pants, some crazy stuff goes down! Here are some actual sex laws truly for the record books!
1. In Bakersfield, California, if you’re going to have sex with Satan, you’ve gotta use a condom. And definitely come up with a safe word!
2. Poking a porcupine is illegal in Florida. But apparently that law didn’t go far enough. Just a couple weeks ago, State Senator Nan Rich submitted a bill that would ban peeps in the Sunshine State from being able to stick it in where the sun don’t shine on any animal.
3. In Minnesota, it’s illegal for any slime bucket to hook up with a live fish. Don’t worry disinterested wives, a cold fish is still a-okay!
4. In Dyersburg, Tennessee, it is illegal for a lady to call a gentleman for a date. Clearly no one in that town is getting laid!
5. In Merryville, Missouri, no woman can waste her natural waist. Wearing a corset is illegal because “the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male.” No wonder it’s called the “Show Me State!”
6. It’s illegal to purchase sex toys in Alabama. This law can beat it!
7. In Washington State, it’s totally legal to eff an animal like an animal, as long as it weighs less than 40 lbs. What, fatty farm pets don’t deserve some love?
8. While most would argue that this is place where the people get screwed many different ways, in Washington D.C., engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal.
9. In Massachusetts, you cannot recklessly consummate your love with a rodeo clown while the horses are still around. But seriously, there’s a reason for the expression “hung like a horse.” I doubt the animal would get jealous!
10. The biggest internet porn consuming state, Utah, gets freaky in their laws too. Sex with an animal is totally cool, unless you’re doing it for cold hard cash! Hey, why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free!
 
-snip-..in Washington D.C., engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal. -snip-

Not only there, btw, same goes for Virginia, also there it is illegal to have sex with lights on. OTOH, if one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations, and it is definitely illegal to tickle women... ???

From what I hear (all this is hearesay, we Euros really do not bother about such things if not incited by ppl like from IMF :) ), in Tremonton, Utah, it is still an offense for a woman to have sexual intercourse with a man in an ambulance (??). She can be charged with misdemeanor and will have her name printed in the local paper.

It is illegal in Willowdale, Oregon, for men to talk dirty to their wives during intercourse. Wonder who invented this one?

In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun while his female partner is having an orgasm (so, you manage it once in your lifetime, and then you are not allowed to celebrate it ??? ).

This one, OTOH, makes sense, no traffic interruption allowd In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

I understand the law in Washington State permits zoophilia provided the anmimal weighs less than 40 pounds, but then, in the same state, it is illegal to have sex with a virgin under any circumstances, including the wedding night! (I do not know whether taking your own virginity for a girl there is ok, but if not, it looks like Washington State law makers wanted a sex free state - excluding small animals, of cause, men *do* have needs, don´t they?)...???

Then, take Arizona: A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month, oral sex is considered to be sodomy, and you may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Ar-kansas: Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term (was Bill ever jailed for that??).

In California they have thier animal behaviour pet :) down: In Ventura County, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

Colorado: Logan County: It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.

Florida, by law now saved from human-porcupine hybrids, has other issues solved as well: It is considered an offense to shower naked, oral sex is illegal, and you may not kiss your wife's breasts.

Idaho is far ahead of the rest of the planet regarding relation between sexes: It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.

Illinois, for that, has it with mens rights: A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts (what is the female counterpart of a bachelor s by law definition?). THen, they are also caring youbt the female counterparts: In Eureka, a man with a moustache may not kiss a woman. (But then, all in this state is within the "normal" interpretations there: It is forbidden to speak English, the official language is "American", and it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets. Also, you may be convicted of a class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2. Now all makes sense... ).

Oh, what a wonderful free world the US (from our Euro POV), plenty of stuff the neighbours that peep through your windows can denounce you over... :)! OTOH, I wonder what law makers get paid for over there, they really seem to have too much time on their hands...

Much more in the sources below...

Rattler

P.S.: To be true, they have other crazy laws, not all is about sex, take this one from California: A city ordinance states that a $500 fine will be given to anyone who detonates a nuclear device within city limits.

Sources:
http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/virginia
http://forums.majorgeeks.com/showthread.php?p=1453818
http://crazytopics.blogspot.com/2007/01/craziest-laws-in-america.html
 
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Dude, you've never been to Logan county, have you? I think just kissing any of the wimin there might be considered beastiality.... :cens:


But please. Tell us how you really feel. Stop holding back. :mrgreen: :p
 
in Virginia its illegal for two people of the opposite sex to show affection in public unless at least one of the people is married. (my ex wife fully took advantage of that one)
 
P.S.: To be true, they have other crazy laws, not all is about sex, take this one from California: A city ordinance states that a $500 fine will be given to anyone who detonates a nuclear device within city limits.

Who will be left to collect the fine???
 
$500 fine huh? I'm sure alquida is reading that and looking through their wallets since apparently bombing Cali with a nuke is legal LOL
 
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