Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Stephanie's Christmas party. It was Shawna who spiked the punch with too much Pecos Peach. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Heavenly.
I thought it was funny when I put David's Jeans on my head and danced the Ballet on the Couch while singing `I Believe I Can Fly'. I didn't mean to break Stephanie's iPod and don't know why Stephanie would sue me for Murder.

I don't remember calling Bo's wife a Cheeky Chicken---even though she looked like one with Pink eye shadow and Orange lipstick!

And when I threw up on Emily's husband's Belly, it was only because I ate too much of that Mashed potatoes.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Truck through my neighbor's Bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Quirky Lizard and have me arrested for Stealing!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Hopeful and Tall. And I'm really not to blame for any of this Kinky stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!


Sincerely and Boldly yours,

Sarah (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 3 bucks!



Write your own letter to Santa here.

Dear Santa,
I have been a good Boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Denis's Christmas party. It was Alberto who spiked the punch with too much Wild Turkey. I can't help it if I drank 27 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Musky.
I thought it was funny when I put Katy's underpant on my head and danced the Barynya on the Couch while singing `Du Hast'. I didn't mean to break Denis's ipod and don't know why Denis would sue me for murder.
I don't remember calling Brandon's wife a crazy cow---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on Lucy's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that taco.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my humvee through my neighbor's wall. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a soft snake and have me arrested for shoplifter!


So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all crazy and calm. And I'm really not to blame for any of this soft stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and respectly yours,

Fox (Really a nice Boy!)
P.S. It's only 88 bucks!

Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at FOX's Christmas party. It was PIXIEDUSTBOO who spiked the punch with too much vodka. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like crap.
I thought it was funny when I put REDLEG's underware on my head and danced the funky on the table while singing `Tiny Dancers'. I didn't mean to break FOX's iPod and don't know why FOX would sue me for sodomy.
I don't remember calling 5.56's wife a big goat---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and red lipstick!
And when I threw up on PEDDLER's husband's leg, it was only because I ate too much of that banana.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my truck through my neighbor's attic. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a hot sheep and have me arrested for shoplifting!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all fat and dumb. And I'm really not to blame for any of this happy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and well yours,
TEAM INFIDEL (Really a nice boy!) P.S. It's only 5 bucks!

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Mari's Christmas party. It was Mandy who spiked the punch with too much Whiskey. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Vanilla.

I thought it was funny when I put George's Boxers on my head and danced the tush push on the table while singing `"whos bed has your boots been under"'. I didn't mean to break Mari's iphone and don't know why Mari would sue me for Vandilism.

I don't remember calling Jessie's wife a stupid pig---even though she looked like one with teal eye shadow and red lipstick!
And when I threw up on Crystal's husband's foot, it was only because I ate too much of that crawfish.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Truck through my neighbor's Kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a crazy horse and have me arrested for drunk in public!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all innocent and hopeful. And I'm really not to blame for any of this weird stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and respectfully yours,

Jennifer (Really a nice Girl!)
P.S. It's only 200 bucks!

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at TeeTee's Christmas party. It was Tim who spiked the punch with too much Vodka. I can't help it if I drank 88 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Berries.
I thought it was funny when I put TeeTee's blouse on my head and danced the moon walk on the desk while singing `I will survive'. I didn't mean to break TeeTee's cellphone and don't know why TeeTee would sue me for indecent exposure.
I don't remember calling Sam's wife a stubborn dog---even though she looked like one with yellow eye shadow and green lipstick!
And when I threw up on Patsy's husband's lap, it was only because I ate too much of that spagettie.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Humvee through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a dumb cat and have me arrested for peeping tom!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all wired and crazy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this outrageous stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and elegantly yours,
Kristina (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 69 bucks!