Why can't people be more accepting?

As a female SF/F geek myself, I understand why you must wonder why they were so mean. Unfortunately, kids get taught strict gender roles by parents and society. I grew up in a total geeky family. I literally went from Clifford the Big Red Dog books to Andre Norton and other Science Fiction authors at a very early age. I don't remember getting bullied for my geeky interests. But that was a long time ago (although not in a galaxy far, far away... I had to, you know it!), and things are different now.

There's a lot of pressure to conform to gender roles and to fit in from a very early age. I had my barbie dolls, but man, I played with my big brother's legos as well. One lesson I hope this girl comes away with from this is that it isn't what society expects that matters. It's what we love as individuals. I now write SF/F and I cosplay Star Wars, Star Trek, and everything in between. I've seen a rise in bullying as adults at conventions. It isn't a "boys club" and that girls/women who love the fandom as much, if not more than, as those guys have just as much a right to be there and cosplay and collect movies and books and comics. And it isn't girls doing the bullying at conventions... it's guys. Usually younger guys in their 20's or so. I got picked on by one male cosplayer for my original ideas back when I did a lot more of it. He was a jerk no matter who you were. If you were female, you didn't belong in his eyes. He was never more wrong.

Girls are mean. So are a lot of young boys. What we need to do in this society is to teach kids to cherish individuality and creativity, not fitting in. And to hopefully teach those bullies that it is NOT okay to be mean to someone who loves something that you may not.

Maybe that helps... a little insight from a female fandom perspective.
 
The saddest part of this is that these bullies "grow up" to bully as well.... When really, they're only cowards in adult bodies.. yet still kids who never learned or just don't care what they do to hurt others.

I've stood up to bullies and sometimes am happy out it.. others I pay for it. Some people will do anything to hurt others; maybe it's pain within themselves they feel will go away if they put it on someone else; honestly, I don't know. I don't understand it and maybe this is how it is with terrorists; we don't/can't understand them because our minds don't work the same.

It would be nice to be able to understand everyone and how they think but .. on the other hand maybe a blessing to never "know" this type of thinking. It may be too gruesome to take it in.
 
My dear Sara,
You know where I am coming from when I say "DITTO"! To ALOTTA what you said!
Forgive but never forget. Makes you who you are. in a good way.

Dadsgirl
 
Sara said:
The saddest part of this is that these bullies "grow up" to bully as well.... When really, they're only cowards in adult bodies.. yet still kids who never learned or just don't care what they do to hurt others.

I've stood up to bullies and sometimes am happy out it.. others I pay for it. Some people will do anything to hurt others; maybe it's pain within themselves they feel will go away if they put it on someone else; honestly, I don't know. I don't understand it and maybe this is how it is with terrorists; we don't/can't understand them because our minds don't work the same.

It would be nice to be able to understand everyone and how they think but .. on the other hand maybe a blessing to never "know" this type of thinking. It may be too gruesome to take it in.
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Just play the role of the complete bastard in a discussion I don't agree, I think it is a fallacy to believe bullies are cowards.

"Bullies" in my opinion are nothing more than narcissistic opportunists who are taking advantage of the weakness in modern society that treats violence as a whole as wrong.

In an ideal world violence would be a thing of the past but the real world is far from ideal therefore people have to learn to stand up for themselves, none of the "bullies" I have ever met in my life were cowards but all of them looked surprised when they were sitting on their arses.

Just another example that despite the madness of mutually assured destruction it does achieve Détente and in life that is about the best you can hope for.
 
Sara said:
The saddest part of this is that these bullies "grow up" to bully as well.... When really, they're only cowards in adult bodies.. yet still kids who never learned or just don't care what they do to hurt others.

I've stood up to bullies and sometimes am happy out it.. others I pay for it. Some people will do anything to hurt others; maybe it's pain within themselves they feel will go away if they put it on someone else; honestly, I don't know. I don't understand it and maybe this is how it is with terrorists; we don't/can't understand them because our minds don't work the same.

It would be nice to be able to understand everyone and how they think but .. on the other hand maybe a blessing to never "know" this type of thinking. It may be too gruesome to take it in.
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Growing up in the older section of town we had our share of bulling and gangs. Some as you mentioned Sara we trying to mask an insecurity. Others were outright psycho’s who’d stab you as soon as look at you. With this type they often nether cared if they get hurt or hurt others. I’ll spare you the details.

I glad the school my boy goes to has a zero tolerance towards bulling and nips it in the bud. One of the schools policies other than to disciple the offender is to explain to the offender how it effects others and why it causes problems. Whatever their doing it works.
 
CitadelCouncil2183 said:
http://wnep.com/2015/08/21/bullied-girl-gets-support-from-star-wars-fans/

Other girls bullied her for liking Star Wars? Why do girls have to be such control freaks? Why can't they accept people different from them? I don't give two craps about people's personal interests.
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Childhood has got to be the worst part of our lives. We look back so fondly on it, yet if anything we really were not prepared for what was to come. We learned and grew, and sadly children are the most cruel. I do not think we should have marriage licenses. Some parents screw everything up so marvelously well we should instead require licenses to raise kids.
 
I've had a bad childhood, however I liked it. But now I've seen the world on both sides. Poor, Rich, and Average, So I know what life feels like in those situations. Some people complained that their parents went somewhere without them. I have a dad in jail until I'm 18. People complained about clothes, I had shirts that were worn 3 times a week. Some people hate school, I had to skip preschool and my aunt had to help my mom pay for Kindergarten. So I understand why people bully or get bullied. In middle school because I was Quiet everyone put the "Quiet Kid" stereotype on me. I know pain people go through and I share with kids that listen and I know that those kids will remember. I know because they looked, and listened to one who understands. And throughout my entire life I never made fun of someone because I know the ways people have to live.
 
Delta said:
I've had a bad childhood, however I liked it. But now I've seen the world on both sides. Poor, Rich, and Average, So I know what life feels like in those situations. Some people complained that their parents went somewhere without them. I have a dad in jail until I'm 18. People complained about clothes, I had shirts that were worn 3 times a week. Some people hate school, I had to skip preschool and my aunt had to help my mom pay for Kindergarten. So I understand why people bully or get bullied. In middle school because I was Quiet everyone put the "Quiet Kid" stereotype on me. I know pain people go through and I share with kids that listen and I know that those kids will remember. I know because they looked, and listened to one who understands. And throughout my entire life I never made fun of someone because I know the ways people have to live.
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Your past, no matter how bad it was, does not define your future. The choices and actions you make today will ultimately define who you will eventually become.
 
AirborneWings said:
Your past, no matter how bad it was, does not define your future. The choices and actions you make today will ultimately define who you will eventually become.
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You don't think those choices and actions are shaped by your past experiences?
I don't believe there is a linear path through life but a lot of people struggle to let go of the bad parts well enough to move on to a positive outcome on the other hand I know a lot who have used their bad experiences to generate positive ones.
I think it comes down to mental fortitude.
 
MontyB said:
You don't think those choices and actions are shaped by your past experiences?
I don't believe there is a linear path through life but a lot of people struggle to let go of the bad parts well enough to move on to a positive outcome on the other hand I know a lot who have used their bad experiences to generate positive ones.
I think it comes down to mental fortitude.
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That can also be true.

But I don’t believe that whatever has happened in the past will ultimately define the path your future takes. It’s true that your past experiences will always be there and can shape how your future is shaped but I don’t think they have to define your future.

I see a lot of recruits come to us with troubled lives (abuse, drugs, violence, criminality etc) and they’re heading in a downward spiral. Some (not all) totally turn their lives around and become the most dedicated professional soldiers in the battalion. If you met them, you would have no idea what sort of background they grew up in !
 
I grew up in inner city squalor, unemployed feckless parents who only cared about cigarettes and alcohol, I was never nurtured as a kid, left school with no qualifications. As soon as I was old enough, I joined the Royal Military Police after a stint in the Territorial Army (volunteer reserves) I kept my head down and worked hard. I caught the attention of my platoon commander in my last posting, when our section commander retired, instead of passing command to more senior corporals in my section, I was made acting sergeant responsible for running a team of RMP NCOs and all the associated responsibility that went with the rank.
 
I grew up on a council estate in one of the most deprived areas of Scotland. It was rife with drugs, violence and knife crime. Majority of the lads I grew up with are either dead (murdered or drug overdose), in & out of prison or they’re drug dealers. If I’d stayed in that environment, I’d be dead or in prison.

I’m an Officer but I’m not privately educated or come from a wealthy background. I also kept my head down and worked hard to get to where I am today !
 
AirborneWings said:
I grew up on a council estate in one of the most deprived areas of Scotland. It was rife with drugs, violence and knife crime. Majority of the lads I grew up with are either dead (murdered or drug overdose), in & out of prison or they’re drug dealers. If I’d stayed in that environment, I’d be dead or in prison.

I’m an Officer but I’m not privately educated or come from a wealthy background. I also kept my head down and worked hard to get to where I am today !
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Funny you should say that as it was only a couple of days ago it dawned on me that of my senior year class in high school there are only 3 out of 31 of us still alive (makes class reunions easy), hard to tell the leading cause of death but the top three are stupidity, drugs or suicide, the apparent saving grace seems to have been that the three of us all got out of town we grew up in as soon as we could (military and university in other areas), what I find strange is that we all came back..
 
MontyB said:
Funny you should say that as it was only a couple of days ago it dawned on me that of my senior year class in high school there are only 3 out of 31 of us still alive (makes class reunions easy), hard to tell the leading cause of death but the top three are stupidity, drugs or suicide, the apparent saving grace seems to have been that the three of us all got out of town we grew up in as soon as we could (military and university in other areas), what I find strange is that we all came back..
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Me, my sister, and (step)cousin all had something that connected us. Our dads. Not that we had the same dad, It's that Our Fathers weren't there for us. Because of their choice or because of other things.
 
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