Topic: A whole bunch of blonde jokes

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July 1st, 2006   Post 1
tomtom22
Chief Engineer
 
 
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Post; A whole bunch of blonde jokes


I know that there might be some jokes in this list that have already been posted before, but after an exhuastive search I think I weeded out the duplicates. If I missed any, my apologies in advance.

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida..?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died...
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday, you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!!!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side..."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken..."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!!!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "Duh, we're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!!!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off???"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!!!"

__________________
"It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations
 
July 1st, 2006   Post 2
MaKa9
Centurion
 
 
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Ahahaha!!!

Great stuff my girlfriend is gonna love this...(blonde)
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-In the grim darkness of a far future,
There is only war.
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July 1st, 2006   Post 3
istealfreefood
Tribuni Angusticlavii
 
 
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i loved the pull over one! and the Florida one was great too!
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You can't scratch and salute at the same time! That's communist! - LTC Ivens
Son, you got a panty on yo' head. - Raising Arizona
 
October 13th, 2007   Post 4
Team Infidel
Milforum's Postmaster
 
 
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great jokes.
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October 14th, 2007   Post 5
Sevens
Forum Brat
 
 
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Gonna have to remember those.
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All I want is for one guy to prove to me that they're not all the same.......

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October 14th, 2007   Post 6
CrazyLilCajun
Milforum Cowgirl
 
 
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Too funny......
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"Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway. " - John Wayne
 



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