Topic: What We've Learned From TV And The Movies

Charge 7 · February 7th, 2005

1. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

2. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

3. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

4. All bombs are fitted with helpful electronic timing devices that have large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

5. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

7. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

8. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

9. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

10. If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.

11. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

12. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

13. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.

14. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.

15. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

16. If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.

17. There's always a chainsaw around when you need one.

18. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

Ed · February 7th, 2005

haha

Locke · February 7th, 2005

i think "angry mutated sea bass" should be added to #18, lets not forget, sharks are on the endangered list LMAO

i like the chainsaw one!

the_13th_redneck · February 7th, 2005

" 12. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident. " the winner

Locke · February 7th, 2005

which movie is it from?

Darcia · February 9th, 2005

So very very true.

Joe252 · February 9th, 2005

thats funny right there

tomtom22 · May 11th, 2006

And all the movies end in just under two hours.

Team Infidel · January 7th, 2007

that's a good one

February 7th, 2005	Post 1
Charge 7 Master Gunner	Post; What We've Learned From TV And The Movies 1. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear. 2. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 3. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty. 4. All bombs are fitted with helpful electronic timing devices that have large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 5. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. 6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. 7. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 8. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. 9. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. 10. If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon. 11. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one. 12. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident. 13. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor. 14. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back. 15. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. 16. If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity. 17. There's always a chainsaw around when you need one. 18. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. __________________ "Do not forget your dogs of war, your big guns, which are the most-to-be respected arguments of the rights of kings." - Frederick the Great, King of Prussia

February 7th, 2005	Post 2
Ed Optio	haha __________________ \"There is no greater evil than the indifference of good men.\"

February 7th, 2005	Post 3
Locke Tribuni Angusticlavii	i think "angry mutated sea bass" should be added to #18, lets not forget, sharks are on the endangered list LMAO i like the chainsaw one! __________________ If I am asked what we are fighting for, I can reply in two sentences. In the first place, to fulfil a solemn international obligation . . . an obligation of honor which no self-respecting man could possibly have repudiated. I say, secondly, we are fighting to vindicate the principle that small nationalities are not to be crushed in defiance of international good faith at the arbitrary will of a strong and overmastering Power. Author: Rt. Hon. Herbert Henry Asquith Source: Statement, to House of Commons, Declaration of War with Germany, Aug. 4, 1914

February 7th, 2005	Post 4
the_13th_redneck No Chance Outside Gear	" 12. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident. " the winner __________________ I don't exist. TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSTITUTED Next time you travel http://www.epictrip.com

February 9th, 2005	Post 6
Darcia Tribuni Angusticlavii	So very very true. __________________ ^_^

February 7th, 2005	Post 5
Locke Tribuni Angusticlavii	which movie is it from?

February 9th, 2005	Post 7
Joe252 Primus Pilus	thats funny right there __________________ Cadet Chief Robot> Joe252, i must tell you this. I\'m turning gay. Joe252>you dont have to tell me that im straight for christ sakes.

May 11th, 2006	Post 8
tomtom22 Chief Engineer Gear	And all the movies end in just under two hours. __________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations

January 7th, 2007	Post 9
Team Infidel Milforums Spamkiller Gear	that's a good one __________________

Topic: What We've Learned From TV And The Movies

Post; What We've Learned From TV And The Movies