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| 100% Space Shuttle Door Gunner | Post; West Texas CowboySubject: West Texas Cowboy A West Texas cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when Suddenly a Brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a Young Man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, Leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows And Calves you have in your herd,will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his Peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, Connects it To his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, Where he Calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his Location Which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in An Ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and Exports it To an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds,He Receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed And the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC Connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives A response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his Hi-tech,miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the Cowboy and says, "You have Exactly 1586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the Cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks On amused as The young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly What Your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay,why Not?" "You're a consultant for the National Democratic Party." says the Cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess That?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get Paid for An answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to Show me How much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a damn thing about cows........ Now give me back my dog."
__________________ Give me Liberty, or give me Death! ![]() So this is how democracy dies.... to thunderous applause. |
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| Chief Engineer ![]() | Heard the Austrailian version a while back. Charge 7 also posted his version here: Winning The Bet
__________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations Last edited by tomtom22; May 11th, 2006 at 04:15. |
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| Milforum Idol | Hehehe. Thats good..haahaa
__________________ C/1Lt Ret. Henderson "Life is a tragedy to those who feel, and a comedy to those who think."- Fortune Cookie |
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| Cadet Moderator ![]() | Nice one.
__________________ Pte K. Steliga Canadian Forces School of Aerospace Control Operations QL3 0027 Per ardua ad astra |
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| Milforum Hitman | Good one.
__________________ "Freedom is the sure possession of those alone who have the courage to defend it". Pericles. ![]() |
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| Forum Health Inspector | Bump. So I sent this to a few of the contractors in my shop with the question: "So, is this representative of you guys?" One response back: "Sure does. Except for the cattle thing. And Rob would have brokebacked the cowboy while Mitch chased after the heifers."
__________________ Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" -- Isaiah 6:8 |
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| Forum Brat | LOL Funny!!
__________________ I tried being good, but I got bored...... Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose. |
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| Milforums Spamkiller | Pretty funny.
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| | Post 9 |
| Primus Pilus | funny funny!
__________________ ![]() I have the toughest Job in the Corps.....Putting up with a Marine! |
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