Topic: Wal-Mart Does Healthcare

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October 13th, 2005   Post 1
Charge 7
Master Gunner
 
 

Post; Wal-Mart Does Healthcare


One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies, "there's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Joe puts a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.

The computer then prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant, Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your tennis elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart
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"Do not forget your dogs of war, your big guns, which are the most-to-be respected arguments of the rights of kings."

- Frederick the Great, King of Prussia

 
October 13th, 2005   Post 2
tomtom22
Chief Engineer
 
 
Gear

Hilarious!!!
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"It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations
 
October 13th, 2005   Post 3
LIPS
Tribuni Angusticlavii
 
 
gotta love modern technology
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Some more words of wisdom from LIPS
 
October 22nd, 2005   Post 4
Fenrir
Milites Gregarius
 
ROFL LMAO!!!!!!!!
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Gentlemen, when the enemy is committed to a mistake we must not interrupt him too soon.
Horatio Nelson