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| Chief Engineer ![]() | Post; The Vending MachineA salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes." Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00,and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life. Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures, $20.00." "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured. The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his member... which now had a button sewed on the end.
__________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations |
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| | Post 2 |
| Optio | Ouch!!!!!!
__________________ Soon To Be SEAL |
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| | Post 3 |
| Primus Pilus | lol those machines were made by a woman!!!! |
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| | Post 4 |
| Milforum Idol | poor guy...hilarious though..hahaha
__________________ C/1Lt Ret. Henderson "Life is a tragedy to those who feel, and a comedy to those who think."- Fortune Cookie |
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| | Post 5 |
| Centurion | owie...
__________________ Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam. "I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head!" |
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| | Post 6 |
| Milforum's Bouncer | ROTFLMAO... nice Tom, nice.
__________________ "The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental." - John Steinbeck |
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| | Post 7 |
| Centurion | My God... |
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| | Post 8 |
| Primus Pilus | easy mistake to make.............................................. .................................................. ....................................what? dont look at me like that
__________________ And shepards we shall be For thee, My Lord, for thee Power hath descended forth from thy hand That our feet may quickly carry out thy command So we shall flow a river forth to thee And teeming with souls shall it ever be In nomini Patri, et Fili, Spiritus Sancti Veritas, Aequitas |
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| | Post 9 |
| Milforum's Postmaster | hehehe
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| | Post 10 |
| Forum Brat | Very nice. LOL
__________________ All I want is for one guy to prove to me that they're not all the same....... Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose. |
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