Topic: The Vending Machine

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June 18th, 2006   Post 1
tomtom22
Chief Engineer
 
 
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Post; The Vending Machine


A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00,and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures, $20.00." "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out.

Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his member... which now had a button sewed on the end.
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June 18th, 2006   Post 2
CDT.Ensign
Optio
 
 
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Ouch!!!!!!
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June 19th, 2006   Post 3
JulesLee
Primus Pilus
 
 
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lol those machines were made by a woman!!!!
 
June 19th, 2006   Post 4
Rob Henderson
Milforum Idol
 
 
poor guy...hilarious though..hahaha
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"Life is a tragedy to those who feel, and a comedy to those who think."- Fortune Cookie
 
June 20th, 2006   Post 5
gigabrain
Centurion
 
 
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owie...
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Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
"I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head!"


 
June 21st, 2006   Post 6
bulldogg
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ROTFLMAO... nice Tom, nice.
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"The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental." - John Steinbeck
 
June 21st, 2006   Post 7
MaKa9
Centurion
 
 
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My God...
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-In the grim darkness of a far future,
There is only war.
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June 22nd, 2006   Post 8
OORAH
Primus Pilus
 
 
easy mistake to make.............................................. .................................................. ....................................what?






dont look at me like that
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For thee, My Lord, for thee
Power hath descended forth from thy hand
That our feet may quickly carry out thy command
So we shall flow a river forth to thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be
In nomini Patri, et Fili, Spiritus Sancti

Veritas, Aequitas
 
October 13th, 2007   Post 9
Team Infidel
Milforum's Postmaster
 
 
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hehehe
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October 14th, 2007   Post 10
Sevens
Forum Brat
 
 
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Very nice. LOL
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