Topic: United States v Canada (The Almost War) 2

AJChenMPH · December 25th, 2005

Or how about this oldie-but-goodie?

Quote:

Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."

Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."

Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

Canadians: "No, I say again, you divert YOUR course."

Americans: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."

Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

Chief Bones · December 25th, 2005

It's an oldie but a goodie. Thanks for remembering.

Intoxicated_Ant · January 17th, 2006

Theres also a New Zealand/Iraq one which i find to be the better version.

Italian Guy · January 20th, 2006

Very good one, man.
What's the NZ/Iraq one, Intoxicated?

boris116 · January 21st, 2006

There is a somehow related tale. Some people say that it had happened about 30 years ago.

At that time the relations between China and the Soviet Union were not very far from war. A Big War.

There was a lecture in the Soviet General Staff Academy on Chinese military strength. The lecturer - a three-star General was feeding the listeners with the horryfying numbers - Chinese population(1 billion), number of troops(50 million), reserves - 100 million, etc. The picture was so-o-o-o gloomy...How it was possible to fight all these people?
So the General tried to lift his listeners' spirit a little bit. He told them:"The Jews have managed to beat the Arabs inspite their great number inferiority!"
A question came from the audience: "Where can we recruit enough Jews?"

MightyMacbeth · January 22nd, 2006

thats a good joke, long but worth it to the end

and dont worry about the mistake, we are all humans

AFSteliga · January 23rd, 2006

Ahh...gotta love the Newfies. The second joke I heard a while back, but it's still good.

Fox · January 24th, 2006

Good one.

Sevens · January 15th, 2007

Nice one!!!

Team Infidel · April 15th, 2007

hahaha great one

December 25th, 2005	Post 12
Chief Bones Forums Grumpy Old Man Gear	It's an oldie but a goodie. Thanks for remembering. __________________ *-W.R.B. (Chief Bones) FCC(SW) USN(RET)-*

January 20th, 2006	Post 14
Italian Guy Milforum Hitman Gear	Very good one, man. What's the NZ/Iraq one, Intoxicated? __________________ "Freedom is the sure possession of those alone who have the courage to defend it". Pericles.

January 22nd, 2006	Post 16
MightyMacbeth I am Honor Gear	thats a good joke, long but worth it to the end and dont worry about the mistake, we are all humans __________________ ~when a man does his best, what else is there? Gen.George S.Patton

January 23rd, 2006	Post 17
AFSteliga Cadet Moderator Gear	Ahh...gotta love the Newfies. The second joke I heard a while back, but it's still good. __________________ Pte K. Steliga Canadian Forces School of Aerospace Control Operations QL3 0027 Per ardua ad astra

January 24th, 2006	Post 18
Fox Can you hear me now? Gear	Good one. __________________ Why should I have to "Press 1 for English?" --Every American

January 17th, 2006	Post 13
Intoxicated_Ant Optio	Theres also a New Zealand/Iraq one which i find to be the better version.

January 21st, 2006	Post 15
boris116 Centurion	There is a somehow related tale. Some people say that it had happened about 30 years ago. At that time the relations between China and the Soviet Union were not very far from war. A Big War. There was a lecture in the Soviet General Staff Academy on Chinese military strength. The lecturer - a three-star General was feeding the listeners with the horryfying numbers - Chinese population(1 billion), number of troops(50 million), reserves - 100 million, etc. The picture was so-o-o-o gloomy...How it was possible to fight all these people? So the General tried to lift his listeners' spirit a little bit. He told them:"The Jews have managed to beat the Arabs inspite their great number inferiority!" A question came from the audience: "Where can we recruit enough Jews?"

January 15th, 2007	Post 19
Sevens Forum Brat Gear	Nice one!!! __________________ I tried being good, but I got bored...... Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.

April 15th, 2007	Post 20
Team Infidel Milforums Spamkiller Gear	hahaha great one __________________