Topic: Top Ten Signs You Won't Win The New York City Marathon

Team Infidel

10 You frequently hear, "Outta the way, lard ass!"

9 Every couple of miles you stop and ask directions

8 You pulled a hamstring filling out the application

7 Before the race, you eat a Powerbar with extra cheese

6 You still haven't finished the 2006 New York City Marathon

5 In trying situations, you ask yourself, "What would Rosie O'Donnell do?"

4 Some runners are sponsored by Adidas -- you're sponsored by Chips Ahoy

3 You're frequently mistaken for the fat guy from "Lost"

2 Made your own steroids out of Red Bull and Super Glue

1 You've been carbo-loading for 30 years

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