10 - Felt he wasn't incompetent enough for the Bush administration
9 - Secretly ordered himself to fire himself
8 - Was offered the John Travolta role in the touring production of "Hairspray"
7 - Trying his hand at failing miserably in the private sector
6 - Didn't want to be around for transition to the Kucinich administration
5 - Instead of terrorism, trying to keep Lindsay and Paris off the streets
4 - Got a sweet new job at Kinko's
3 - Letterman has a guy making a sand sculpture of Biff Henderson
2 - Ran out of laws to circumvent
1 - Why not go out on top?

Dave Letterman's?

FUNNY

lol...........