| |
| | Post 1 |
| Milforum Chaplain | Post; Things to Think AboutThings to think on Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's on your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? |
| |
| | Post 2 |
| Chief Engineer ![]() | Post; Why is that, Andy?Great stuff, Padre. One I have thought about, when you are reading a book and you put it down to do something else , do the characters in the book stay in suspended animation?
__________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations |
| |
| | Post 3 |
| 100% Space Shuttle Door Gunner | If Con if the opposite of Pro. Does that mean that Congress if the opposite of Progress?
__________________ Give me Liberty, or give me Death! ![]() So this is how democracy dies.... to thunderous applause. |
| |
| | Post 4 |
| I am Honor | lol, I liked this one: "Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?"
__________________ ~when a man does his best, what else is there? Gen.George S.Patton |
| |
| | Post 5 | |
| Centurion | Quote:
__________________ Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam. "I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head!" | |
| |
| | Post 6 | |
| Forum Health Inspector | Or how about: why do you park in a driveway, but drive on a parkway? Quote:
__________________ Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" -- Isaiah 6:8 | |
| |
| | Post 7 |
| Milforum Moderator ![]() | Hmm... I liked those
__________________ "I was a soldier, I am a soldier, I always will be a soldier." |
| |
| | Post 8 |
| Milforums Spamkiller | i like them too
__________________ |
| |